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Hi all,
We are in the process of adopting our 19 month old foster son, and I have been trying to contact his birthmom to send her pictures (and most recently I emailed her to ask if she even wanted pictures, because I wasn't sure), but I have heard nothing from her.
WWYD? I have been sending emails - we have always communicated that way before (my little guy has been in our home for 16 months), and I know she has internet access because she regularly updates her facebook. I don't have a phone number for her and she moves around a lot, so I have no address, either.
She didn't visit with her son for the last 6 months of her case, and didn't ask me for any pictures or updates during that time.
I hate to just write her off, but I don't know what else I can do at this point. I thought about just emailing her pictures, but I don't want to make this harder for her than it already is.
If it makes any difference in your response, this is NOT a child who was placed for adoption. My little guy was taken into foster care, and his birthmom was given a case plan which she had over a year to complete, and she didn't do any of it. So they terminated her rights, but by that point, she was in agreement with it.
Maybe you could create a separate facebook or myspace page just for photos and email her to say that if she would like pictures, that there is the page set up for her to look at at her leisure.
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I agree,
I think a blog or facebook page, or flicker page, where she has to go to them (and if it makes you more comfortable it could be private so others couldn't get to it) but can do it on her own time when she's ready, if she's ready.
If it's a blog page you'll be able to tell if anyone visits it, so it will at least let you know if she is interested at all or not.
I have another birth mother friend who is only able to deal with pictures that are posted passively (for her the aparents use flicker) so she can go to the web when she feels able to look through pictures, but they are there during the difficult time when she needs them.
It's wonderful for you to still want to have her be able to see pictures. I know it must be hard if she's not responding or if seems uninterested, but I can't imagine she doesn't appreciate it, even if she has a hard time interacting with you all.