Has this ever happened to any of you? (re: 'doll' present from relatives)

That makes me think of the show "Fresh Prince of Bel Air.":)

Come to think of it there really isn't anyone on TV that represents my lifestyle either.

Oh no, that isn't the most similar doll she owns! She has a wonderful cabbage patch kid that has Hispanic coloring, brown hair and even blue eyes. I couldn't believe it when I found that doll. It was a very limited edition and I've never seen anything like it anywhere else. It is exactly like her, exactly the right color. She is mildly interested and she already managed to draw on the face with permanent marker. :( She just loves that other doll and I'm just glad it isn't one of my old blonde Cabbage Patch dolls she decided to attach too. :P

P.S. Everyone here has been so nice and it seems like a lot of you know something about and are sympathetic to Romani kids over here. So, I had an idea here.As I said, my family has access to American dolls and we will get more. If you think our situation sometimes sounds rough, I really feel concerned about the Romani kids I see in foster care here. I go to events for adoptive and foster families with Romani kids, which are held once or twice a year. That's where I saw the little girl with the doll soaked in tea. I also have a friend who adopted domestically a little Vietnamese baby and this mom didn't want to believe that identity issues would be an issue for their family, because the baby isn't Roma. But she's getting educated. Once they happened to see a black doll at a community center and the little girl (18 months), grabbed that doll and would not let go. (You rarely see a black doll here but it can happen. Kind of an "cut exotic thing." You never see an Asian or other non-white doll here.) Her mother said it was an eye-opener. She searched all over the big toy stores for at least a black doll and couldn't find one, even in the biggest stores in Prague. I got her a beautiful Asian doll from the US for Christmas, but you get the picture...So, I was thinking, If any of you have older kids and some discarded or unneeded dolls with some color, you could PM me and donate them at a US address. I can get them sent over here and give them to Romani kids, particularly in foster families that tend to be low income and have less access to international stuff. They'll be thrilled with any non-white doll. I'd hesitate a bit to give them to the orphanages because I can't be sure what the staff would do with non-white dolls, but there are some foster families and they are really trying and even those who aren't completely educated about racial issues may get educated a bit just by watching their child's reaction to a non-white doll, as my friend did.

Haha.... your funny! I don't have it like that but lets just say we could possibly share the zip code one day :)

I thought of it when you said you play tennis, I remember the mom & daughter playing tennis on the show.

The pictures of the girls with their dolls are all SO cute! Got the Snowy Day doll for my son in the mail today. It's so simple (Waldorf type) but very cute and soft!

[QUOTE=SHD]So on point, The night DD told me she felt like she didn't fit in there was nothing I could say or do. She was inconsolable. Daddy was the only person who could help her and he was at work so I called and he talked with her about how she was feeling. He totally "got it" and I totally didn't because *I* am the faces of the kids in her class. All I could do was sit on the sideline while they related their stories back and forth. As a mother I felt like a failure but loved the fact she had someone to turn to. DH later told me it's a horrible feeling be "the only" in a class of many. KWIM? QUOTE] I haven't finished the thread yet, but saw this and totally started tearing up...My husband and I are both CC and DD is AA. This is why we chose open adoption. Because neither of us will totally "get it" when DD comes home from school or somewhere and has had a bad day and doesn't feel like she fits in. I hope that our relationship with her first mom continues to grow so she can have a Mom that "gets it".

I think it is hard to understand unless you truly are living it or at least experiencing it through your childs eyes. As a CC person, I knew that racism existed. I knew that we had a long way to go before we realized true social justice for all but it wasn't until I adopted my AA children that I truly began to see the whole reality of it. I would get a kids movie and the main characters were always white. I would go to buy them a birthday card and all of the cards would either have CC kids on them or animals. Never AA kids who looked like them. I would go out to eat and they would give my kids coloring sheets and the people on the sheets were always CC. Character tshirts? Always CC or animal themed. Teachers, sports coaches, and even my kids family members are ALL CC. It hit me like a mac truck. I had never realized just how much our society truly values one race over others. We would have to be stupid to think that our kids don't get that same message. So yes, having dolls of color and books with AA characters, and peers, coaches, friends who look like our kids is important. Especially for those of us raising AA kids in CC families. And it's harder with girls and the hair issues and what society considers beautiful. My DD has mostly minority dolls and she has a few CC ones. I have let my family know that I would prefer that my DD have mostly AA dolls. Shoot, if I can create a black majority in my own home, than I am helping to do something. My DD will at least know that I value black folks and that black people are beautiful and important. One last thing. WAY before I adopted my children, I bought an AA doll for my CC cousin. This doll happened to sing a Christmas song and I thought she was the cutest thing. My mom thought I was NUTS for buying my cousin a black doll. I didn't get it. Now fast forward to the present. My mom thinks there is nothing wrong with buying CC dolls for my DD. Now is there a hidden message in there or what? So it's weird or silly to buy an AA doll for a CC kid but it's totally fine to buy a CC one for a AA kid? That STILL gets to me to this day.

I totally agree. I don't think I was completely oblivious to even the subtler problems, say in the US, but you get another whole education, when you experience this stuff with your family. And I expect to get another whole education about it when my DD starts talking and perceiving the issues for herself. I doubt I get it all yet.

Good point, you know unless the person was in my family or a real close friend, I have never buy say one of DDs classmates a Black doll for a present? Its weird, wonder if my kids CC friends parents think as I do? How many of us would actually ask each other.. just shows the separation....interesting. I do think this, I have a neighbor who wear a durn Kilt for dress affairs. Now when ever I come across a person who feels the need to lecture a Black person or transracial aparent of a Black child on going overboard. I get is this, if I want to have Black figurines and Santa, and dolls fall out of my house windows. The message? that's an issue, there has to be a problem, with such an approach to raising ones kids. In addition there's at times a need to pacify the person who lectures one on not going "too overboard with the Black pride thing" with how worldly/sophisticated we are in spite of. Why? However, my neighbor it's no biggie for him to be proud of his heritage to the point of wearing a skirt to the office Christmas party (hopefully with underwear... :D) Or other folks' Oktberfest, family crest, any heritage pride event or custom. In all reality its no biggie to me, nor should I have to explain being proud of my heritage, or tendency to purchase items that mirror the child. I guess the older I get the less I see the need to pacify another, despite any label applied to me. Adults wound up in their filters and ideals should not matter, the kids are more important.

DH's oldest sister bought DD a blonde, blue eyed doll for her first Christmas. That doll promptly came up missing. We were curious as to how someone who grew up without black dolls would think to buy this. For her we figured it was simple... it was cheap and the easiest thing to do. Finding a soft brown doll for a baby is extremely difficult. We even had some threads back then about dolls for infants. Even though I live in Atlanta which is a multicultural city the culture seems to be trapped in certain pockets. When a child is the only you have to take fairly strong measures to ensure them developing healthy self-esteem because the preferred images in the media will not proclaim them as the desired look. I've already had to deal with the hair issue with my DD. I think I nipped that one in the bud and she loves her hair. Whether it's curly or straight she thinks it's all good. DH and DS are her biggest fans and that works wonders for little girl self esteem.

It was a totally surreal moment. I knew the importance of having role models in my DD's life (and the fact that her main role model is her Daddy helps) but this really hit home. Having someone there for your child is of the utmost importance and I hope a relationship with her first mom works out for all of you.

I personally would not say anything. As the mom of a bi racial daughter...we made sure her dolls came like people in all colors. I think buying her only multi racial dolls is almost the same as buying all white ones. My husband's mom who is CC would only buy my daughter black dolls. It was so awkward. It was like she felt she had to. One christmas my daughter asked her "why do your stores only sell black dolls?" I think the less you focus on the colors of the dolls the better.

This is one of the reasons I like American girl dolls. Although they are so expensive...the just like me doll was a huge hit in my house. Of course now they make the bratz dolls which come in just about all colors.