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I turn 18 next month and I have a 2 month old baby. I love her but im scared. i live with my mom and her boyfriend, but within the last month of my pregnancy her boyfriend started telling me i should have his baby. (he was trying to kick me out before that) it has steadily gotten worse. He's sexually harassing me and im afraid to say NO because i dont want to get kicked out. or if he leaves we will have a hard time paying the bills. thats the original reason i didnt say anything to my mom. but now i firmly believe if i tell her now she will blame me. after all i didnt say anything for 3 months. Hes lived with us for 5 years and only recently showed such an interest. we have no other relatives around. i dont have a license a car a job and the biological father and most of his family are not in the picture. i considered adoption off and on throughout my pregnancy.
Someone please tell me what to do. Im scared... I just dont think i can do this alone. I want my daughter to have a better life then me. my family has always struggled and i have been constantly a victim of sexual harassment. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I feel so helpless and lost. someone please tell me something helpful. what can i do. where can we go? should i give her up for adoption? i know im probably not ready to handle a baby right now...still trying to get through my last year in high school! thanks for taking the time to read this...
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Found online a center--Domestic and Sexual Violence Center of Chelan and Douglas Counties--that seems to be near you. Google it and it will give you the number/address. I know we are not supposed to give information about adoption agencies publicly on here. . .I don't think that applies to domestic violence resources, but I don't want to do anything against the rules.
Centers like this have 24 hour hotlines, so you should be able to call them for information.
Looks like they have a shelter. . .definitely tell your psychologist-I bet she knows about this place and/or other resources. Good luck to you.
Please tell your psychologist tomorrow. What time is your appointment? I will pray for you...not much more I can do :( If your psychologist isn't helpful PLEASE try the center LB suggested. I'm with Peachy. If this guy is doing this to you, he could very well start abusing your daughter, even at her young age. Can you take your daughter with you to the appt? Maybe having her there will give you the strenght to tell?
Abby,Please take PaigeTurner up on her offer of helping you find resources in Washington state. If anybody can steer you in the right direction for that part of the country, it's Paige.Now is not the time to be making any sort of decision about relinquishing your baby for adoption. I'm glad to see that you're seeing a therapist. Please, please, please tell her what's going on in your home. I know it's scary...believe me, I do know how frightened you are. But there is help available for you.
abby3573, I am also in WA state. I got involved in all this to help children. I'm in King County now, but used to live in Kittitas County. I have multiple friends in Ellensburg, one of them is a gal who's been a GAL (volunteer child representative -- she helps foster kids and kids in trouble) for years and years. She would know *all* the resources in your area. Or be able to help you resettle in a positive situation near where she is, I believe.I trust you that your mom will not necessarily believe you, or that it wouldn't necessarily be a good situation if you told her. You're not the first child to feel like that, won't be the last. I second what others have said, this is horrible you should not continue to live where this man is. Ugh. I had a creepy hands-on teacher, that was bad enough.There are a lot of adults in this state who've worked hard to establish safety nets for kids like you. There are many families who take in girls like you while everyone works on a plan to find something better. For instance, while you finish high school! There are both individual homes, and a series of situations called "Hope Beds" which provide a type of state-funded semi-independent living for teens like yourself.Please send me a private message, I've more information that might help, I've volunteered with one of the greatest agencies for helping teens in the state for years.
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Hi Abby,
You have way more to deal with than any one person should, but you do need to get out. I live in the Wenatchee area so your post really stood out. There are places you can go.
The link below come from the hospitality house, which is a women's shelter but I posted the link because it lists other resources in the Wenatchee area, including an emergency women's shelter at the YWCA and transitional housing as well. The Women's resource center can help provide resources including emergency and transitional housing,etc. That link is below too.
[url=http://www.hospitalityhouseofwenatchee.org/other.htm]Other Homeless Services[/url]
[url=http://womensresourcecenter.typepad.com/wenatchee/about/]Wenatchee Women's Resource Center: About[/url]
Hopefully you find something there that helps.
I told my therapist today she wants me to come see her again in 2 weeks and she said within that time she would be looking for what help and resources were available. she said shed be bangin down doors pullin on peoples heartstrings if she had to. She was disgusted with whats going on i havent regretted the desicion to tell yet but im still scared of the repercussions... on the plus side my daughter was 13 pounds 9 ounces and 24 and a half inches long and shes only 2 months and a week old!
Congratulations for telling your therapist, that took courage. I admire that you did that. I'll bet you are still scared of negatives that could result, who wouldn't be? But I believe that huge positives will come your way as a result of this. Please keep posting here and keep us updated. Feel free to private message any of us, too, if you need a shoulder or an ear sometimes.Awesome news about your daughter! Let us know if anything changes, or if you just want to share.
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I got pregnant for the first time when I was 18. It was so scary and lives with and on and off boyfriend. It was a mess. I later miscarried and still grieve that but now I am grown up and looking to adopt. If you need someone to listen or just chat let me know. I think I have been where you are in someways!
[url=http://lindsayandtomadopt.homestead.com/]Lindsay and Tom[/url] is my website.
Glad your baby is healthy! And good job for telling your therapist.
Another good option, in the meantime, a lot can happen in 2 weeks.....might be to call a rape hotline - even though he hasn't hurt you, doesn't mean he won't. They may more quickly be able to get you in touch with people who can help.
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