just found out im adopted! im 21! and i dont know were to start!!

Do you think you can talk to your parents about this? Opening this up may be the only way to get the information you need and to have a real relationship with your adoptive parents. I am so sorry you are going through this.

hey! no my parents are real defensive u cant say anything not even joke about it they always lied saying to me and my sister cuz i know she is also my sister and i are only 4 months apart i mean that just gave it off from the start and my sister and i look totally different she looks black i look hispanic and my parents dont look like us at all i found out she had a hysterectomy at 42 after her 3 sons and for her age she was suppose to have me at 47 and i found out by mistake cuz i saw her hospital papers and she never told me about it so its hard to talk to them cause they want to try to confuse me and make me feel stupid for asking them that because they keep saying im wrong that i dont know what im talken about so its real fustrating you know i found out for sure from other family members and my own brothers cause they felt i should know =(

Sorry your family is wanting to lie to you. I am part black and my "parents" are white, like I never was going to suspect I was adopted. First off I would look up laws in your state, I live in Oregon and it was as simple as ordering a "preadoption birth record", I ordered it being pretty sure I was adopted but wondering if I could have been the product of an affair or something. If you are not in an open state I would try family and friends, particularily people that may have known your family when you were little that aren't still close to your parents. Do you think your brothers know more than they are telling you? Maybe you can ask them to help convince your parents you have a right to know. Also prepare yourself for the possible outcome of the truth and whether you are ready, my adoptive mother cut all ties with me, but for me finding out the truth and living an authentic life are way more valuable than hanging on to a fake relationship with my mother. Good luck!

The search for information is a part of you.You know there are family secrets concerning your adoption and it is reasonable to want to know what they are.There are some things you can do.When you and your a-parents are alone and there is a feeling of closeness, that would be a good time to share your feelings. They need to understand how important this is to you. Ask for help, and be sure they know nothing has changed in terms of the love you have for them.There can be many reasons why the family does not want to share any information. They may feel they will lose you, or they may want to protect you from knowing parts of your adoption story. Whatever the reasons for their feelings, they should be shared.Because you wish to search for family origins does not mean that you are involved in a betrayal of your a-parents or that you love them any less. It simply underscores your desire to know all of your story. If the family still withholds the information, you can contact the Clerk of the court where your adoption was finalized.If you are in a state where records are sealed, the clerk of the court will tell you what is required to get non-identifying information.Once you have that, you can plan for what the next step should be.I wish you the best.

do you know where you were born? what is your d.o.b.

WELL EVERYONE I FINALLY FOUND ALL MY INFO I JUST WENT UP TO THEM AND ASK FOR THE TRUTH THEY STARTED CRYING AND I NOW NO THAT MY MOM HAD ME AT 15 YEARS OLD IN QUEENS IM HALF DOMINICAN i have another sibling and i was living in the street with my birth mother cause her mom kicked her out and her mom forced her to bring me to the agency or she will contiune to be outside so she did they said i saw her a few times but by then i got use to the ones who raised me so i would cry when i saw her so after that she stopped showing up to the agency and they went looking for her and never found her so thats how they adopted me and my sister is as well and she is half jamaican and half white so now that everything is out in the open i want to find her and i appreciate all of ur support!! thanks!

I'm so glad you have somewhere to start with your search now-- just sorry that it took this long. I will still never understand why people think it is okay to lie to their children about this, and think that somehow it will all just go away if they stonewall and deny. Hopefully, they gave you the name of the agency and they will be able to help you.

Good luck finding your sister, I wish you the best and am glad that they told you the truth. Take care.

There is a support group called C.U.B. here where I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It's an amazing group and I wonder if there is such a group near you. Maybe you can google it and find out. You can get your start there. It's possible that I can lead you to a person who can find your birthmom for you. Let me know if that is of interest to you and I will find out. In the meantime, google Concerned United Birthparents and see what you can find. Good luck nan

Oo Please If U Can I Will Really Appreciate It! <3 I Found Out The Real Story The One My Adopted Parents Gave Me They Were Lyin About Certian Things And I Had My Brother Tell Me Everything! So I Feel That I Must Find Her Since She Didnt Want To Let Me Go....

What state do you live in? I talked to the person I know who has found alot of people and I don't think she has worked for people outside of Minnesota. But, maybe there is a CUB group near you with someone there with experience in searches. Let me know what state you are in. I never thought that it's even possible you aren't in the US??

thats sounds awesome! i live in florida =)