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My husband and I are hoping to adopt. He was arrested 13 years ago when he was 20 for possession of marijuana- nothing we can do to change his mistake when he was 20! I told the lady at our adoption agency before we did an application to make sure it was not an issue- trying to be honest....We just found out we are ineligable to adopt from China as we had planned. Does anyone know if there are any countries out there that will not disqualify us? We are good people with 3 biological children and just hoping to add one more child to our family since we feel we have a lot to offer.
Thanks for any insight you can give us!
Denise
In general, Russia is very strict about substance abuse. China and Korea are too. Interestingly, however, if you had a sensitively written homestudy and USCIS approval, you possibly could have gotten a good placement agency to advocate for you in one of those countries, especially if you were considering a child of school age or a child with special needs, since the "weed" offense was 13 years ago and never repeated.
Outside of those countries, you might consider almost any of the others that are open. In general, the countries with the most willingness to consider applicants with "issues" are also those that are the higher risk ones, so you may have to accept more uncertain time frames, unpredictable fees, and so on. But you might look into fairly stable countries as well. Take a look at the State Department website (adoption.state.gov) to get good basic information about the countries that are open to adoption, and then start perusing the websites of some highly reliable agencies to get more detailed information. Once you have picked a few countries that seem "possible", begin talking to agencies.
I really can't advise you on countries because I don't know enough about your specific interests and situation. As an example, are you looking for an infant or an older child? Remember that many social workers oppose placing out of birth order, so you may be discouraged from applying for a child who is older than your youngest. Still, some countries are more flexible with older children, and especially school aged children. Are you open to any special needs? And so on.
Sharon
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