What do you wish you knew back then?

i wish i would have understood just how much hurt, pain, and grief a child could have. i wish i could have understood just how much hurt a hurting child could dish out in an effort to control their life. i wish i would have known that when someone said "fake it til you make it" in regards to love and attachment that i would have believed i would have to actually do it....and that i would have actually had to do it for YEARS before the real stuff kicked in.