Advertisements
I am in my mid 30s and very frustrated being childless and I have always wanted to be a mother. I do not see my marital status changing, and though I have a good government job, I am struggling a little, though I am working a second job right now so I can earn some money towards adoption fees, etc. I have also completed a course on fostering and I do know thats can be another way to adopt but I have some reservations as to whether I can handle fostering, with bonding with the kids and then giving them up. Also, I can probably conceive on my own too but being single, it is a pain and not sure how much Im willing to spend on IUI's and so on. Also, there are so many toddlers that need adopting and why bring more kids into this world. My house payment is very low too, which helps alot. I doubt I will have the finances to do a domestic adoption and I dont know if I want to deal with the emotional toll of the birth mother and whether or not she'll change her mind. After doign some research, I did find an agency and I filled out a pre-approval application for a Bulgarian child and did get approved, but need to send a $300 fee, etc. I left a message for the worker handing my file as I have alot of questions. Is this feasible for me or am I getting my hopes up? I am hoping there are healthy Bulgarian children (under 4 or 5) that need adopting. I do know there are alot of special needs and older children in Ukraine, China, Korea, etc... does anyone have a recommendation? Any agencies to avoid? Please PM me if necessary. Any feedback is appreciated- thanks.
Like
Share
Hi and welcome! There is a more active single parent forum that you may want to post your question on. Scroll up from where you found this forum. Right under "General Adoptive Parent Support" is a forum called "Single Adoptive Parent Support". It's more active and you may get more responses there.I'm going the domestic route. I did do some research on international, though. Bulgaria seems like a good choice for adopting a toddler. I don't believe China or Korea allow any adoptions by singles. Others may have more insight into domestic adoption through foster care. I'm sure you'll get quite a few responses if you post on the Single Adoptive Parent Support forum.Again welcome! Adoption.com is such a great resourse for support and education. Take care!
Advertisements
I adopted a child through FC, but she was a straight adoption. Her parents' parental rights had been terminated. Unfortunately, that takes time, so the children usually older unless you want siblings. However, considering your current finances, that is an option you might want to consider.
International adoptions are expensive. The most economic way is through foster care. But I have found, kids are super expensive. Check the prices of day care, and make sure you can handle it.
Good luck!
I'll echo chloroxsis in terms of the expense of international adoption. I'm going the domestic private route, and even though it is expensive, it's less so than what international would have been (especially once you add in travel, etc). There are ways to adopt domestically on a lower budget; it may take longer, but it is possible. Also, there is a tax credit that can help (you may need to borrow upfront, but having the tax credit coming can certainly help).
I'd encourage you to first figure out how much you can spend, then look at how that may need to break down (ie. how much will your homestudy cost? with the agencies you are looking at, what does their "placement fee" include, and what will be additional (and how much is it likely to be). I checked out my options with both domestic and international, and found what fit for me. Since you are open to a toddler, not just a newborn, fees even for domestic adoption are likely to be lower. I'd really encourage you to check out the international adoption and special needs boards. Many people I know who adopted internationally (though not all) adopted children with a variety of special needs and institutionalized behaviors or attachment issues that are a challenge; I'm not trying to discourage you, but you want to make sure you know the realities of what to expect. Good luck!