BeginningHi,

January 18, 2011

Hi, we are new to the forums here and are in the process of beginning the adoption process. My DH and I are wondering what the process is? Do we fill out an application to the agency of choice before or after the home study? What can we expect from a home study, and where do we find a list of decent people to complete our home study with? I am REALLY nervous about EVERYTHING:

1. Will we be accepted by the agency esp in light of my medical issues.

2. Will we pass the HS

3. Can we afford this?

4. Will the baby accept me when they are older?

5. What about our critters? Where do they get housed (currently they are in the dining room- oops Chinchillas)

6. Does the size of the room matter for choice of child's room..? See previous question.

I am nervous, scared and yeah even a little frightened about the whole process not to mention overwhelmed and we haven't even begun yet. I could go on and on.:wings: :thanks: in advance.

theLBs

January 18, 2011

Wow! Lot's of questions! :flower: I had those and more. . .okay, not the one about the chinchillas! :)

First, take a deep breath! I worry about everything, but if nothing else, this process has taught me patience and learning to live without being in control of anything!

When we started the process, we got a book, The Complete Adoption Guide, and it really helped us determine where to start and what path worked best for us.

Do you have any friends who have adopted? Who know folks who have adopted? What about any social worker/counselor types? Once we decided we were going with an agency, we emailed all of the friends we have in these categories and picked their brains. We ended up going with an agency that some friends had used as well as some friends of friends. . .having two recommendations helped us feel more confident about our choice.

We had a friend of a friend who is a family law attorney. We talked to her, and she gave us good advice of what questions to ask, what to look for in an agency, what to look out for. . .

We also talked with the person in charge of adoptions for our local family and children services. We knew we were not going to adopt through DFCS (they only handle adoptions for older kids, and we wanted an infant), but he was incredibly helpful--telling us what to be prepared for with a homestudy, what sorts of information to be sure to include in a profile, what questions we needed to ask each other regarding what we're open to (special needs? Medical? race? gender?) His best piece of advice was to make decisions ahead of time so that we don't get caught up in the emotion if we get a call and then enter into a situation that we're not sure we're prepared for. . .

Once you get some ideas about agencies (if you go that route), call them and ask them the questions you have about your medical situation and the average fees for adoption. Depending on what you are open to (age, legal risk, etc.) adoption can be very affordable-especially if you go the foster-adopt route.

We ended up picking an agency first, and then using that agency to complete our homestudy.

As for the homestudy, everyone stresses about that . . .I cleaned EVERYTHING including the dog! She basically wanted to be sure we had enough bedrooms, a fire extinguisher, and made us show her that the smoke detectors worked.

Will the baby accept you when he/she is older? That's one of those risks you take, but honestly, it's a risk with any child, even a bio child. My dad was incredibly close to his parents, and his sister (their bio daughter) took off at 17 seldom to be heard from again. . .

there are lots of folks here to help support you through the process and give you the tools you need.

Good luck!