Who initiates contact in your open adoption?

My dd is 19 months old and I do most of the contacting. Her bmom will call me or email me sometimes but for the most part, I send an email at least once a month to open the door for a visit. Sometimes I think bmoms don't feel that they have any right to "ask" for things and may feel like a bother. I tell dd's bmom that she can call anytime and we can set up a visit anytime but she rarely does. I think she thinks that she's being intrusive and would rather wait for me to open that door. She did speak up around Christmas because she saw her at the beginning of December and then asked me if that was her "Christmas visit". I told her of course not and tried to reassure her that she is welcome any time. I do appreciate that fact that she is not intrusive but I agree with you that I wish she would initiate the visits sometimes. In all honesty, I wish she would invite us over to her house instead of the other way around so I can get a break from playing hostess! I really do just try to be grateful that dd has a very loving bmom and that she's not intrusive in any way. I kind of like setting up the visits because then I know they will happen on an interval that I'm comfortable with especially since we seen to be the busiest people on the planet! ;) Good luck!