Is it me or is this roller coaster ride going too fast...

How far apart do you and the FM live? Is it possible that she has talked with the cw and said that it would be easier on the children (and her) if the transition time was shorter? Sometimes the longer the transition, the harder it actually is on the children.

Our son was almost 4 when he came to live with us. We met him one week, kept him the following weekend, then he moved in the next week. We were supose to have one more visit, but taking him back that one time was way to hard on everyone ( he begged us not to take him back) so I asked if he could move a week early. For a long time after T moved here he would say stuff like " why did you take me back to them" and anytime I would tell him he would stay here forever he would say " but you took me back once". I would just keep telling him we had too, but it will never happen again.I think short transition are best in some cases. Truthfully I think it would have been best for our son if he could have moved home the day he met us.

Our F/AS is 10 but we are on a similar time line. We met him on 1/18, visited 1/20, spent the weekend 1/21-1/23 and moves in 1/27. It's fast, but I think it sometimes is better to just do it than drag it out!

Our daughter was really young (only 4 months) but we transitioned fast as well. We met her on Monday, took her for a few hours on Wednesday and she came home on Friday. She had been with her FM since birth and it was really hard on the FM to let her go. I tried to make it as easy as possible on her since they had wanted to adopt her and we were picked in the RAS over them. I will say communicating or even letting them see the FM after coming home may be beneficial to them if possible so the transition is easier.

We transitioned fast. Our almost 4 yr old son called us on the phone crying because he wanted to come home. It was very hard reassuring him that we would be back and take him for good. Sometimes faster is better. Though in your case 3 years at such a young age with a foster family is a long time to just move so quickly...imo.

If foster mom is supportive of the move, a quick move can be ok - especially if you can have continuing and on going supportive contact with foster mom afterwards. My kids were 3 and 4 when adopted. We met them on a monday and flew home with them on a friday. It was QUICK - but went well. What was a huge help was when they were missing foster mom (who was mommy to them) we could call her anytime, and she would reiterate that she loved them and she wanted them to be happy with us. It was a HUGE help.

Don't hold back. My husband and I were matched with brothers, 13 mos apart. We got "the call" from the SW on a Monday, our telling was two days later, we met the boys on Thursday of that same week and brought them home with us Friday...the very next day.

our FS was placed with us and we were chosen by his foster mom. They knew he would be tpr and they knew they didnt want to adopt he was with them a yr. We knew him a yr saw him off and on but FM and her children in there 20's were preping him to come to us calling me mommy and my Husband daddy. They were making it easy transition we thought. A week after they transistion him to us they wanted to see him and call to talk to him( he's 2.5yr) the FM kids texted me constantly and when we told them we wanted time with him before he sees them so he would understand he was not leaving they petitioned to get him back. they called the higher up and are fighting us to get him back we have had him 5months now and they are still deciding whether they will give him back to the foster parent or keep him with us. He was fine with us after a week and every day that went by he bonded more and more and now it is as though he has always been with us. Give it time they are young the more time they spend with you and your husband they will trust and love you. good luck.