my 3 yr old won't cry when hurt - WTH?

My foster son didn't cry when hurt for the LONGEST time. He still has moments when he doesn't. He is severely autistic, so I'm not sure if it is that or that he was neglected for so long he just learned not to cry at anything. The more he trusts me, the more emotion he shows. I would, however, point it out to everyone. Make sure they know about it... doctors, caseworkers, etc. There are medical issues that can cause that and I know some abused kids do that too.

I would say it's either from neglect (they learn not to cry because it doesn't get a response) or related to sensory issues from drug exposure.We had a 9-month-old baby who did not cry after any injury. We had her for over a year, and she eventually did start crying appropriately when hurt.We also had a drug-exposed 3-year-old who I believe was sensory-seeking. She actually LIKED getting shots and hitting her body (hard) on objects.

Each of the prior posts describes my FD who is 2 as well. She was also a drug exposed infant, who was severely neglected and abused. We had her intake appointment today for possible services through the Community Services Board and they mentioned testing her for sensory issues, as well as attachment disorder.

I was going to second Sensory Disorder and Attachment Disorder. My kids love shots, they would rather me beat the snot out of them than have to talk about a problem (not that I've EVER hit them). One time my 4 yr old told me, "I don't wanna talk about it, you just throw me". That is SO sad! My kids use physical pain in a, "Look how strong I am, you can't do anything to hurt me" kind of way. If they fall now, they cry and want comfort. The first 3 months with us though... it was like, "YAY I FELL... and I'm not even going to cry!!" My girls were severely abused and neglected.

To this day I can't ever remember my oldest ever crying. People used to comment on how wonderful she was to watch because she didn't cry, whine or tantrum. Silly mommy didn't realize that and failed to see the red flags! Oh, the things the case workers never tell us! LOL! My daughter was institutionalized in Romania so she learned right away that no one was coming to rescue her for crying, feedings were sporatic and there wasn't any love coming around any time soon. So sad to see even a 3yr old just emotionally cut off.

I'm thinking it would be a really good idea to take her to the pedi and ask questions. There are disorders which cause the kids to feel no pain...they also can have other issues related to heat, these are genetic. It's really worth a trip to the dr.

My FD was sensory seeking and she never cried when she was hurt. She only cried when she was in trouble and at bedtime. It was really bad when she had a series of ear infections and I didn't even know because she never complained about them.

I'm going to chim in that I agree with her having some attachment issues. My now 2 yr old was like this at 11m. I would have a therapist do a check. She isn't to young for play therapy but if you choose you could just get the information you needed for how to handle the situations. The reason that I am saying attachment is because you said that you feel she cries only to manipulate you. Because she could be manipulating you OR just learning that her cries get attention seems to point to attachment. It is so sad that these little guys have such strong walls that we have to climb over. :(

I appreciate the info. Autism has already been ruled out, and I don't think she is "sensory-seeking" based on her other behaviors, but I'll call the Dr. just in case. When she cries just because I don't give her ice cream at 9 a.m. or other silly reasons, I send her straight to her room and tell her to come out when she's ready to use her words, so crying has never gotten her attention in my home, and certainly never gotten her way. She has been an only child and now has 3 fbrothers, and she has learned to take turns and share very quickly, altho that was a struggle at first. I really do feel like the CW isn't telling me enough, and then I hear different things from the GAL, so the whole situation is frustrating! But this little girl is easy to love that I'll deal with whatever administration just to hear her say "I wuv you Mama!"

I was also going to suggest a sensory disorder. I would discuss it more with his PED.

I wanted to offer up my experience with my natural son. At about 15 months I noticed he didnt cry when he snuck out of his crib and burnt himself five times in several extremely sensitive areas with the light bulb from the table lamp, and not a peep. In fact, id opened the door to check on him he came out smiling, as usual, and I notice a huge blister on his belly and arm. These were second degree burns. Not even dampened eyes. He was the happiest baby since day 1. He was very much loved, not neglected. I worked from home so no sitter. My husband was away in Iraq until our son was 2 and a half. This very happy baby who didnt feel pain flipped the coin at about 3 and a half. He became easily agitated, stopped listening, throwing fits. Complete 180. He was eventually diagnosed with broad spectrum autism NOS.