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And what might it mean for us/our children?
[url=http://www.heartandsoul.com/2010/08/is-the-black-church-to-blame-for-rise-of-single-black-women/]Is the Black Church to Blame for the Rise of Single Black Women? : Heart & Soul[/url]
I just don't quite get how the church can lead to this... opinions please?
How could church be a negative thing? What is the controversy?
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Maybe because the single AA (or any single) feels so empowered and loved by God that they don't feel that they need to accept a relationship less worthy of them? Having experienced the love of God, community of faith we have come to realize what wonderful, special and amazing people we are. *smile*
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Dannie
Heart and Soul is an AA magazine so their stories will have an AA slant to them.
I know what they are talking about because I have a lot of friends who have fallen into this trap. I don't think it's the church that is keeping women single... it's a combination of things. How the church factors into it is that some women are taking things literarily and expecting the church to work as a dating service. That is not happening. Most of the single men that I know don't plan on becoming regular church goers until after they are married. You should find him and then take him to church because he's not going to be sitting in church waiting for you. The church is not keeping anyone single...
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I think it's saying AA women go to church to find husbands. I don't but I think that's what it's saying.
Dannieas: as to other single women: I went to Philly for a girls' weekend. The hot topic was why so many AA women were single. I believe it was also talked about in NY. Seems like AA women are being dumped on again.
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I am married, female and a churchgoer.
I am not AA, but I can certainly tell you that being committed to God and living by certain convictions limits your dating pool. I was single and dating at one point and time before meeting my husband.
I would not consider dating men who were not church goers. I didn't have trouble finding nice guys but I can see how some might, regardless of race.
Like someone else mentioned on here, most single men don't think about church until they are married or have a family.
This creates a surplus of committed Christian women looking for committed Christian men that are just not there.
I agree with some of the points but I don't think this is a racial issue.
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gsxr-mama
I would not consider dating men who were not church goers. I didn't have trouble finding nice guys but I can see how some might, regardless of race.
Like someone else mentioned on here, most single men don't think about church until they are married or have a family.
This creates a surplus of committed Christian women looking for committed Christian men that are just not there.
I agree with some of the points but I don't think this is a racial issue.
Can I ask this? What's wrong with dating someone who is a believer who doesn't go to church? Why does he have to be attending church prior to meeting you?
There is a racial component to this subject but the church is not the major cause. There are various reasons why the majority of AA women are not married and will never be married. I can look at each of my single friends and for each its a different reason.
Looking for a husband is like looking for a job. You have to know what you are bringing to the table and figure out who is looking for you.
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I came across this... I had a good laugh. Some may find it offensive and some might be like me and think it's true. Just wanted to warn there is a little language...
The author grew up in foster care and has been divorced 3 times. She attributes her time in foster care as to why she can discern marriage minded men. I think she's on to something here.
[url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html]Tracy McMillan: Why You're Not Married[/url]
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Sleeplvr
Dannie
Heart and Soul is an AA magazine so their stories will have an AA slant to them.
..
Thanks for letting me know....I just was focused and only read the article didn't even glance at the slant of the stories by browsing :)
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Sleeplvr
Can I ask this? What's wrong with dating someone who is a believer who doesn't go to church? Why does he have to be attending church prior to meeting you?
Funny you mention this.....there has always been the discussion as to why believers suddenly "fall of the face of the earth" when it comes to church after college...
The reasons are clear....no wife/husband, no children to take to the children's classes (I go to a church where children sit in the main sanctuary during the main service with parents/family and then the classes for all ages are done...so parents spend most of the early years in cradle roll-to kindergarten or primary with their kids teaching the class or helping or just sitting behind them if there is seperation anxiety so yanno that is a church motivator right there) and then young parents are involved in the church classes for their kids that singles in their 20s or 30s really don't have anyone to hang out with as those said parents join Bible classes at church after their kids are older and they are older too.
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Oh dear, I'm a selfish b... I can't believe she forgot gay, that's usually the old standby.
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DannieAS
Funny you mention this.....there has always been the discussion as to why believers suddenly "fall of the face of the earth" when it comes to church after college...
Young adults are a neglected group. I didn't attend often during that age range either. All my boyfriends were church goers but they only attended on a regular basis when they were in a relationship.
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Sleeplvr
Young adults are a neglected group. I didn't attend often during that age range either. All my boyfriends were church goers but they only attended on a regular basis when they were in a relationship.
there's also not any ties to a particular church if you didn't grow up solely in one church or something. Where I live there are many many different churches that are the same denomination I attend.....single professionals church hop to see what's around, no boyfriend/spouse/kid to need to lay down roots. Most of my friends (and I) just church hopped never going to the same church twice in the same month...so attendance was sporadic too.
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Sleeplvr
Can I ask this? What's wrong with dating someone who is a believer who doesn't go to church? Why does he have to be attending church prior to meeting you?
It is mostly a lifestyle thing. I know many people who don't attend church who are wonderful husbands, wives, girlfirends, boyfriends.
I just feel that God is the center of who I am and how I live my life. Church is a part of that. I wanted to be with someone who shared this passion.
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gsxr-mama
It is mostly a lifestyle thing. I know many people who don't attend church who are wonderful husbands, wives, girlfirends, boyfriends.
I just feel that God is the center of who I am and how I live my life. Church is a part of that. I wanted to be with someone who shared this passion.
I think sleep was asking about believers (Christians) that may skip church here or there or church hop but would be attending church once there was someone to go with.
I know a woman I work with...she's the same denomination as I am, doesn't attend church because she doesn't know anyone and doesn't like to go to church alone and the area where she lives only has a couple of churches to attend....however, she still follows the doctrines of our church
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When I met my hubby he would go to church but not every week. I invited him to church with me and had a 'talk' with him about how important attending regularly was to me. He was ok with that.
I really didn't want to get into a situation where I dated someone who did not attend church regularly.
I wasn't a freak or anything, even though I did get called a 'Jesus Freak' by those who tried to date me.
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