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I am in the Army, and wish to adopt my two stepchildren. My stepson is 12, and will be 13 soon, and my stepdaughter is 8, and will be 9 a short time after my stepson turns 13. We are all from Tennessee, but are stationed in North Carolina. To further complicate the issue, I am deployed in Afghanistan. I have been reading online, and I am confused. The biological father has had no contact with the kids during the seven years my wife and I have been married. My stepson knows him, or did, but my stepdaughter doesn't. Since she was 6 months old, I was there, so I am the only daddy she knows.
To start off, the BF is named as the father on both birth certificates, but my wife was not married to him at any time. A year after he left, she went after him for child support. In the process of that, the court granted her sole custody, and basically told him that he could call and write, but that was it unless my wife decided different. She never did. He never wrote, never called, but his paychecks are garnished to pay the child support.
The way I read it, we have to get the BF to sign over his rights because of the birth certificates and the child support. What is the next step? The BF has made remarks about being willing to sign over his rights, but he wants us to do the paperwork for him to sign. What would the next step be, and what should I expect? I have never done anything like this, and the JAG office over here was no help. I have been promising the kids this for 5 years, and I want to make good on my promise. Please help.
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GoBigRed43
I am in the Army, and wish to adopt my two stepchildren. My stepson is 12, and will be 13 soon, and my stepdaughter is 8, and will be 9 a short time after my stepson turns 13. We are all from Tennessee, but are stationed in North Carolina. To further complicate the issue, I am deployed in Afghanistan. I have been reading online, and I am confused. The biological father has had no contact with the kids during the seven years my wife and I have been married. My stepson knows him, or did, but my stepdaughter doesn't. Since she was 6 months old, I was there, so I am the only daddy she knows.
To start off, the BF is named as the father on both birth certificates, but my wife was not married to him at any time. A year after he left, she went after him for child support. In the process of that, the court granted her sole custody, and basically told him that he could call and write, but that was it unless my wife decided different. She never did. He never wrote, never called, but his paychecks are garnished to pay the child support.
The way I read it, we have to get the BF to sign over his rights because of the birth certificates and the child support. What is the next step? The BF has made remarks about being willing to sign over his rights, but he wants us to do the paperwork for him to sign. What would the next step be, and what should I expect? I have never done anything like this, and the JAG office over here was no help. I have been promising the kids this for 5 years, and I want to make good on my promise. Please help.
If your stepchild’s absent parent consents to the adoption or is deceased, the process should be smooth and quick. You will file an adoption petition with a court in your county, talk to a local Social Service agency, go to a short hearing in front of a judge, and file the adoption decree with the county clerk.
By giving his or her consent, the noncustodial parent gives up all rights and responsibilities, including child support. But sometimes getting the child's other parent to agree to your adoption can be difficult.
The way to obtain consent is different in each State. In many States, the noncustodial parent can give a written statement. In other States, he or she may have to appear before a judge or file papers with the court. Some States require the parent to receive counseling, have the laws and his or her rights explained to him or her, or talk to a lawyer.
Some State adoption laws do not require the other parent's consent in some situations. However, it is important to do everything the law requires to obtain proper consent. Some States' laws allow for consent to be revoked, and for an adoption to be challenged or overturned, if these requirements are not met or fraud has occurred.
Some States' laws allow stepparent adoptions to occur even if the noncustodial parent objects or contests the adoption. For example, this may be allowed if the noncustodial parent has not contacted the child for a certain period of time.
These situations may be complicated. You may wish to consult with a lawyer. If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer, you may be eligible for free legal help. In some States, the court will also appoint someone to represent your child (a guardian ad litem, sometimes called a "GAL").
I refer people to stepparent-adoption.org because it offers a great resource Stepparent Adoption: A Resource Book by Wendelyn D. Osorio. They have a section in the book dedicated to Military Adoptions and the paperwork you need to fill out.
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