I think I was Adopted in Macau

I'm not quite sure why you think that you were adopted. Nothing in what you wrote suggests it."Assentos de nascimento" means birth certificate or birth registration; it is the document from the government of Macau that proves your date and place of birth, and names your biological parents. The fact that it was filed so quickly after your birth suggests that it was authentic, and not based on information provided at a later date. "Legitimate" means that your parents were legally married. In the old days, this would have been important, since people born outside of marriage were stigmatized and considered So it sounds as if you were born to your mother and father, who were already married."Infantario" is a day care center or preschool, not an orphanage, as far as I can tell. It would be normal for your parents to take a picture of you at your day care center or preschool, especially on some occasion like the first day of school. "Ave Maria", which means "Hail Mary", most likely signifies that it was a Catholic church-sponsored day care center or preschool, although it could simply have been located on Ave Maria Street. Many families, in this country as well as overseas, choose religiously sponsored day care centers or preschools for their children. Were your parents Catholic?Unless you have some other evidence that you were adopted and that the birth certificate was fraudulent, it appears that you were born to the parents who raised you, just as you were always told. While there are occasional cases where a hospital has falsified a birth certificate, so that a child relinquished by a birthmother is listed as born to the adoptive family who takes him/her home from the hospital, I don't see any reason to believe that this occurred in your case. In fact, I think it was mainly your misidentification of a day care center or preschool as an orphanage that caused you to assume that you were adopted.I know that you are estranged from your mother, but as a Mom, I hope that you will attempt to make peace with her. It sounds as if you have many questions to ask her, and you don't want to wait until she passes away before you realize how much you wish you had maintained contact. Even if she wasn't a very good mother, it appears that she did give you life and enable you to reach your current age.Also, if your parents were of Portuguese heritage, as well as residents of Macau, you might find it interesting to take a course in the Portuguese language. Portuguese is a beautiful language, and learning it might help you to develop an accurate understanding of some of the documents from your past that you may have, and to contact people in Macau who might remember your early years, if you choose. Learning the language of your ancestors may also help you feel more connected to your heritage.Sharon

By the way, Macao and Hong Kong are currently Special Administrative Regions of China. Hong Kong was under British rule for about a century before 1997, when it was restored to Chinese rule. Macao was a longtime Portuguese colony, which was restored to China in 1999. Both Hong Kong and Macao have 50 year agreements that allow them considerable autonomy in domestic affairs.

"The fact that it was filed so quickly after your birth suggests that it was authentic, and not based on information provided at a later date. "Thank you for your feedback,actually, this document was filed 1 year after my birth.We are not catholics and not portugese. Back then, my mother was 20something yo, chinese, from Hong Kong and poor. My chinese father was American and 60-something yo. My "birth" was a contract between my parents - my dad wanted a son, my mother wanted to come to the US. The 2 conceived a child and she gave birth a year earlier in Jan 1966 - a daughter (dad wasn't happy). My sister was born in Hong Kong. Yes- I had a 20something-yo mother and a 60yo father at the time of my birth. My mother did tell me once she never loved this old man. A cousin told me that his grandfather told him that my mother could not stand "having sex" with "her husband" and will not go thru labor a 2nd time to produce a son, she would try to find a son for him in order to seal the deal. This had been the on-going rumor among my cousins - but never proven as fact.Back in the 60s, HK was an affluent British country. Macau was poor and underdeveloped (much like comparing the US to Mexico). No one, not even the poor, would go to Macau to "give birth". HK had more hospitals and better medical care for all their residents. Macau had 1 hospital. I spoke with a friend who grew up in HK back in the 60's. She said, "you don't go to Macau to give birth - you go there to adopt children".The story I was told was that my mother could not take care of both of us, so she put me in the Infantario. My dad had to fly back to Macau to retrieve me out.Another cultural clue that makes me think that I was adopted - I am "the son". In Chinese culture - the son is very prized (daughters are not).If I was the biological son of my mother - she would have cherish me more than her own daughter. This is very cultural for the Chinese.Throughout my entire childhood, this mother was bitter and completely indifferent to me - while very loving and motherly to my sister. I could never explain why this treatment towards me. My sister explains that I was a troubled infant, always crying and wouldn't eat - causing stress to a young mother. however, I don't see how a troubled infant would plague my entire childhood?Being adopted would explain everything.

I'm in awe of your life's story. I don't have anything to tell you that would help. I just want to let you know that I hope you find what you're looking for. I'm sorry you had such a difficult and isolated childhood.

The story of your parents' marriage is plausible. In China, as in many countries, arranged marriages and marriages of convenience occur, though they are probably much less frequent today than in the past. Love is considered far less important than practical considerations in these relationships. Sometimes, love -- or at least a close friendship -- blossoms between the man and the woman, but often it does not. The couple may actually spend little time together, and sex may occur mainly for procreation or to satisfy the desires of the husband. In a prizewinning novel that my daughter read recently, the young Chinese wife, who came from a poor family and had an arranged marriage, spent most of her time either caring for her in-laws or visiting her parents and female friends. Sex with her husband was a rare occurrence, designed mainly to produce sons; multiple sons were sought, because the story took place at a time when many babies died before reaching age one. Being pregnant gave the young woman some advantages -- fewer chores, for example, and more opportunity to visit pleasant places, such as temples and gardens, because women were thought to have healthier children if they took good care of themselves and thought about beautiful things -- so she was not totally unwilling to have multiple children. It would have been quite normal in Hong Kong, at least in years past, for a young woman from a poor family, with no dowry and with no significant "connections", to marry an older man, possibly a widower or divorced person, who had adequate money, but no sons to carry on his name, take over his business, etc. It would have been seen almost as a mutually beneficial business relationship, and a formal agreement might have actually been drawn up between the family of the bride and the family of the groom, sometimes via a go-between or matchmaker. The woman would be financially protected for life, and the man would have sons who would care for both of them in their old age, inherit their father's property, and so on. It is the adoption part of the story that I still can't be certain about. I agree with you that Hong Kong was much more prosperous than Macau, and had more hospitals, and it does seem unusual that your mother would have had a baby in Macau when she lived in Hong Kong. Why did she not stay in Hong Kong or go to the U.S.? Still, adoption of strangers' children has never been all that common in Chinese culture, though it may have been more acceptable in Hong Kong. The "blood tie" was what was considered important, especially with sons, so people most commonly adopted children of relatives or community members that may have been distantly related. I suppose that a deal could have been made. Your parents might have gone to Macau so friends and relatives in Hong Kong wouldn't know, adopted a newborn from a birthmother who couldn't parent, and then bribed officials at the hospital to create a birth certificate stating that the child was born to your parents. Bribery and corruption are not unknown anywhere in the world, and I've talked to people from India, living in the U.S., who have known infertile couples in India who did exactly what I have described. They wanted a son and privately arranged, illegally, for a woman to pass her newborn to them at an Indian hospital, with the hospital listing them as the parents on the documents. Apparently, it still goes on today, even though India has strong federal laws regarding domestic and international adoption, and is Hague-compliant. A falsified birth record might also have made it easier for the child to get a visa to enter the U.S. If the child was born to your parents, there would be no question that he was eligible to enter the U.S. However, if the child was adopted, there could be complications. Again, there are Indian families that have reported considering this option, since it is hard for people who are not U.S. citizens, but are here on work or other visas, to bring an adopted child into our country. But where would the Infantario Ave Maria come in? If your parents took you straight home from the hospital where your birthmother gave birth, you would not have gone to an orphanage. In fact, the Infantario Ave Maria is specifically described as an infantario, translated as kindergarten, for children aged two to seven. At seven, they move to the Instituto Helen Liang. And if your parents adopted from an orphanage, they probably would not have been able to get a birth certificate in their names as easily. You said that there was a rumor that your mother PUT you in an orphanage in Macau, and that your father had to come and get you, which also seems inconsistent. Why would she have done this, if she and your father adopted you? To me, it sounds more likely that you were a bio child, and that your mother needed some help raising you until she could get to the U.S. with you. She might not have wanted the relatives to know that you were put in foster care temporarily, and told them that you were in school. There are many unknowns here, and I can understand your frustration at not knowing more of your history. What I would like to suggest is that you contact the Diocese of Macau, to see if it is possible to find out more information. Here is some contact information: Bishop Jose Lai Hung-seng Ordinary of Macau Diocese Address: Largo da Se, Macau (Apartado Postal No. 324, Macau) Phone: +853 8397-5228 Fax: +853 2830-9861 Email: mdiocese@macau.ctm.net Even though you are not Catholic or Portuguese speaking, it is pretty clear that the infantario was set up as Catholic and, most likely, part of the Macau diocese. In fact, one on-line document refers to it as being set up for an order of nuns from Mexico, the Religious Missionaries of Perpetual Help. The infantario, itself, does not appear to exist any more, but there should be somewhere in the diocese where records of the infantario are stored. You might want to send a photocopy of the birth certificate you have, and also a photocopy of the picture at the infantario. My assumption is that you will write in English; if the bishop does not read English, I'm sure that someone on his staff does. If you prefer to use Chinese, that would also be appropriate, but don't feel that you need to get your letter and documents translated into Chinese or Portuguese. Do let me know what you find out. Your story is intriguing, and I know that many people find it hard to move on with their lives, once they develop concerns like yours, about their history. I hope that you can get some additional information. Sharon

Thank you Sharon, I truly appreciate your feedback.I will make contact with the Macau Diocese.Much has happened in the last few days and the evidence I had gathered and discovered is pointing more and more to me being adopted.I forwarded all my birth documentations to a friend who happens to be an immigration lawyer and Chinese (she grew up in HK). She revealed alot to me. What I thought was my 'birth certificate' is not a certificate but a notarized affidavit my mother had "lied" to a Macau magistrate - declaring I was her son and I was born in an apartment (not a hospital). By saying I was born in an apartment would explain to the magistrate why I would not have an official birth certificate. She needed this document to apply for a US passport.I contacted several of my older cousins on my father side to get their story - they all told me of the same rumor they have heard that my mother may not have been pregnant but went to Macau and came back with a male child.But again, all the evidence I have (though strong) are all speculations and circumstantial.The hard proof is DNA testing.Today 3/2/2011, I am going to have blood drawn for the Y-Chromosome analysis. I contacted my first cousin (male) who lives in Tennessee. He agreed to do the test. I know he is the son of my uncle (my father's brother) and this test will show if we share the same paternal grandfather.Knowing what I know, I am 99% confident that I am not related to the family I had grown up with. The knowledge and proof that I was adopted would be the biggest burden off my shoulders and would answer many questions I've always had growing up.They say the test will takes at least a week to get the results once they have both blood samples.

"But where would the Infantario Ave Maria come in? If your parents took you straight home from the hospital where your birthmother gave birth, you would not have gone to an orphanage. In fact, the Infantario Ave Maria is specifically described as an infantario, translated as kindergarten, for children aged two to seven. At seven, they move to the Instituto Helen Liang. And if your parents adopted from an orphanage, they probably would not have been able to get a birth certificate in their names as easily.

You said that there was a rumor that your mother PUT you in an orphanage in Macau, and that your father had to come and get you, which also seems inconsistent. Why would she have done this, if she and your father adopted you? To me, it sounds more likely that you were a bio child, and that your mother needed some help raising you until she could get to the U.S. with you. She might not have wanted the relatives to know that you were put in foster care temporarily, and told them that you were in school."An update and a correction.Have not received my DNA results yet, all my friends and family members are anxiously waiting to hear - and so am I. The clinic did not draw blood, it was a simple mouth swab (when I think DNA, I always seem to think blood - but forgot you can get DNA from saliva). My first cousin had his mouth swab done this past Tuesday, so we wait.My "supposed-full-blooded" sister spoke to our mother and ASKED THE QUESTION last weekend.Her Answer - no I was NOT adopted. (Wow!)Regarding the infantario ....Sharon, you were correct, the "infantario" was not an orphanage (according to my mother's response), it was a type of nursery/housing for children.The picture of me at the infantario was dated April 1969 - I was 2yo. The story is, my mother could not take care of both children while she was working as a seamstress. She placed both children in the infantario.My sister tells me that I was obedient and did not cause any trouble at the infantario (this completely counters her earlier story of describing me as "a troubled infant, always crying and wouldn't eat"). Yet, she was rebellious (at age 3) and made an attempt to escape. The infantario was situated in an area where there were wild dogs and the establishment had to return my sister back to my mother - for her safety.So I sit in the infantario while my sister was in the safety and comfort of her mother.This was the story that was explained to my sister.(And of course, she believed every word of it).There is much about the woman I called my mother and her mis-treatment of me throughout my whole childhood would need to be on a tread of its own.Lying or not revealing the truth is NOT beneath this woman.Before I go on, I need to wait for the results of the DNA test. With the documentation evidence, testimonies from my cousins and other family members, my personal history - I am 99% sure I was adopted. This DNA result will be the definitive answer.I just have to wait.

You have a fascinating story. I hope you can find answers. Please keep us posted.

At 5:50PM today 3/18/11 - I received word of my DNA test. The Y-chromosome STR test revealed that my first male cousin and I do NOT share the same paternal lineage. Conclusion: I am not my father's son.This actually comes to me as GREAT news. I was adopted. The evil woman that I had called ma-ma (Chinese) is NOT my biological mother.Though this test only revealed paternity - I know the woman I had always thought was my mother could not have given birth to me.I had to be conceived in the summer of 1966.This mother just gave birth to her daughter earlier that year in January.There is no way she would get herself impregnated by some man, go through labor and childbirth, risk a 50/50 chance that the child would be male, and convince the man that I had called Dad all my life, agree to accept me as his own and risk that he would bring all 3 of us to the US - all this why raising her newborn. She needed a guaranteed male child.She left HK and went to Macau and found somebody who was willing to give up their newborn son by promising them that their child would have a wonderful life in the United States. Keep in mind, Macau citizens were very poverish back in the 60's and giving up children (esp daughters) was not uncommon. I'm guessing that my birth mother already has child(ren) to raise (esp. already has a son) and the aspect that her newborn would be raised in the US was a "good thing".I also doubt I would have been given up if I was her first son since sons are very prized in the Chinese culture. I may have an older brother?!Anyway, I doubt I was a "blackmarket" baby, but certainly I was adopted "under the table".(Is there a term for such an adoption?)My immigration lawyer/friend suspect that I may have been born in a hospital in Macau. If so, there would be a birth certificate and the name of my birth mother. There was only 1 hospital in Macau back in the 60's: the Kiang Wu Hospital.Their website: [url=http://www.kwh.org.mo/FYD/index.html]鏡–湩†˩™ ¯܍ œ鍨‹Ѧݱˆ尧‘ǩ†˧™‚大“[/url]Would anyone know how to approach a hospital in another country and have them seek out birth certificates dated back in 1967? Where would I begin? Of course my current name would not be on the birth certificate and even my date of birth may not be my true birth day. This would be a needle in a haystack search - and costly.I have to take the time to figure out my next plan of action to seek out the truth. I probably will have to confront the evil witch of a mother - and have her stop lying and tell me the truth. I have been estranged from this woman for over 20 years and never thought of her for such a long time. Today, I am so preoccupied with her and just plain livid!

I need help looking for answers. My 2 sisters refuse to help me (can you believe that?). As the old saying goes, no one can screw you over like family.All these secrets must come out.My story got picked up by a blog: [URL="http://urbanswirl.com/lifestyles/travel/3236-sin-lies-and-adoption-my-quest-for-the-truth.html"]urbanswirl,com[/URL]. They edited my story to be presented in segments.I created a [URL="http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=100002195959671"]facebook[/URL] page in order to search for my birth parents.Any other suggestions in getting help? Please let me know.

I've just been to your facebook page and can see you found some more answers. My heart goes out to you and I hope you have some peace of mind. Did you manage to find your birth family? Your story is truly amazing.

Thanks Pinkie,Yes, much has happened since my last post on here from March 2011. My FB page will have all my updates in my search. Today, nothing in my quest to find my biological parents.But here are the facts:DNA has proven that I am NOT the biological child of either person whom I've known my entire life as my mother and father. For whatever reasons, they kept this knowledge from me. Even my own half-sister, who was 17yo when I was born, kept this a secret (and to this day claims she "never knew"). My other sister (just 1 year older) completely went silent and unresponsive when I told her. We haven't spoken about my adoption since March.Some wonderful family unit I have, huh?!Several small news blog in Macau have published my story but it is just not enough to find the answers. I've only been targeting Macau/HK media, I'm thinking I should also make my story public here in the US (if any news outlets here would run my story).A close friend of mine tells me that if I do it, it will 'humilate' and cast a dark shadow on the 3 women who I thought was my nuclear family. I am estranged from the woman who i always thought was my biological mother. I am estranged from my half-sister now (due to other financial reasons which i have not disclosed) and it looks like I'll be estranged from the other sister too.Yes, alot of drama this year.Quite frankly, I don't know what to do now. No contacts, no updates, no news from my FB page.I did packed up and left Philadelphia (the city I grew up in) 3 months ago to start a whole new life. My true family is really my cousins who have all been very supportive and encouraging thru my ordeal. I do hope to find my biological parents and the answers to my roots.

Well not sure there is anything I can do to help, but I do at least live in Macau. Do not speak Chinese, so would be difficult to do any sleuthing, but let me know if there is something helpful that can be done. Have you travelled here at all. Vastly different from the sixties, but would be a decent vacation, especially if you enjoy casinos. US citizens get 30 days on arrival.

Thank you MacauBased, actually you could help.My Chinese is very basic and elementary but I cannot read nor write (so I am limited to how much i can do).I've been searching online (and inquiring via Facebook) for an English Speaking private investigator (if they even have someone in this field in Macau). Have not found one. (There may be some in Hong kong).If someone can investigate on my behalf and if that person can find something that may be profound about my roots, I would certainly make a trip out to Macau. Right now, I really have not much to go by except the story my adoptive mother had told me (which I now believe could be fabricated). I do believe I was born in a hospital and back in the 60's, there was only one hospital (Kiang Wu) but I don't know my given birth name nor my actual date of birth. I could use all the help I can find.You can contact me at - takmengli@facebook.comthanks!

Just 1 piece of information, regarding the "Helen Liang" referred to, was an orphanage for sure, I stayed there for a couple of years between 3-5yrs of age. and visited it after years, the nun told me that they only take orphan, unless for very special reason. cheers~