Adoption Advise

Hi, I'm from the other side of the fence as an adoptive parent. I'm responding because I saw that no one has yet but as far as I understand there is no fee by the mother for the potential placement of the child. If someone has told you so I would recommend another opinion. When I was in the process the agencies I used did not charge anyone but the potential adoptive parent. Hopefully someone from your state will post to give you better guidance. Its a hard decision and alot of the agencies will offer couseling too. Again I believe its all free for you - even if you decided to parent. Good luck, best wishes.

From everything I've ever heard, the attorney expenses are covered by the adoptive parents. In addition to contacting an attorney to help you, I would strongly recommend you find unbiased counseling to help you with your decision. Meaning, of course, a counselor that can help you sort through everything without having an agenda (like pushing you to place your baby). You'll want ot consider ALL your options before you make a permanent, life-changing decision. Best of luck to you!

Thanks for the information, a birthmom I met at the doctor's office said she paid for some of the fees so I guess that's why all along I thought birthmoms paid their own attorney. Maybe I missunderstood her. I will begin to contact some places I found on google. I have thought alto about it and adoption is the best choice since i'm too far along to terminate safely. Thanks again

I strongly suggest you send a PM to bromanchik on here. She can provide you with resources in your area. Also, do not pay any fees to anyone. Raven is a birth mother on this site from CA (I think) and she could offer you support and she is familiar with adoption laws in your state. I recommend you PM her as well.

I am going to agree with what everyone else has been saying, adoption should not cost you anything as an expectant parent. I am also a potential adoptive parent so I see things from the other side too. If I could give only one piece of advice to you it would be to listen to what your instincts are telling you. If someone is pushing you to do something their way walk away. You need to be comfortable with who you choose to work with in regards to the family that you choose to parent your child, and any adoptive professional that assists you.

Is there a particular reason you aren't looking into using a reputable adoption agency, rather than going the independent route through a lawyer? Ethical agencies, which there are quite a few of , offer post-adoption counseling services and will act as third-party intermediaries if you decide on a semi-open adoption, which entails receiving photos and updates on a scheduled basis. They also seem better to me when it comes to search and reunion when your child comes of age.First of all, you really need to get some unbiased counseling to explore all your options and your feelings and thoughts about relinquishment. There is a long-time member here who is a birth/first mom and also a licensed therapist. Her name is Brenda, and her screen name is Bromanchik. Brenda is amazing when it comes to knowing which resources are available to women who are considering adoption for their babies. I'm sure she'd love to help you if you just send her a private message (PM).Whether to relinquish your baby when he/she is born is probably the most important decision you will ever make in life. It is not an easy road to take. There are no guarantees that your child will experience a better life with another family...some do, some do not. Adoptive parents are human, just like the rest of us. Some make fantastic, wonderful parents; some are average parents, and some should never have become parents at all.If you want to get an idea of some of the problems faced by birth/first mothers after relinquishment, I encourage you to read through some of the older threads in the Birthparents section of this site.Welcome to the forums, and I hope we can help you find the answers you're looking for. :loveyou:

Hello, Adoptive parents should pay for all your legal fees, birthparents don't pay for anything. Just make sure nobody is forcing you into any decision so that you can choose a good family for your baby. Adoptive parents that are working with a lawyer should help you find a lawyer in your area if you haven't found one yourself. Good luck and take it easy.