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I recently found who I believe to be my birth mom on ancestory.com With a little more research, I was able to locate and address, phone number, and other information regarding her husband, and four sons.
I called, asked for her by name and respectfully asked if it was a good time to talk, that I had personal information to share. She said yes, so I gave my date and place of birth...silence...then when I asked if she could be my birth mother, she hung up. After 46 years, my call was no doubt a shock.
I don't want to be disrespectful, however my stomach is in knots. Should I send a letter with the vital statistics document that I have as proof and see if she will reply...or what? Any suggestions would be much appreciated!
`K
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K,Hugs to you! I am so sorry to hear what happened. Is there any other way you think you could contact your bmom? Maybe a letter or some form of internet communication that might be more one-on-one with her (and with no distractions)?I too found my bmom by research on Ancestry as well. I eventually contacted her through Classmates since I did not know where she was currently living. I happened to write at the right time... Her husband had passed a couple of years before and he had not had anything good to say about unwed mothers. Had I made contact with her when he was still alive, she would most likely not have acknowledged me. He never knew about me (it was before they met).I am glad that I know my medical history but finding my bmom wasn't what I expected. I have 2 half brothers out there that know nothing about me. My bmom would write (email) me about her dates and about my half brothers and I would feel very disconnected from it all to the point where I stopped writing her (and she stopped writing me when I didn't write her back last). She will not give me any info other than medical on my bfather, but I know she has had contact with him over the years. I used to think I wanted to know my roots, but when there didn't seem that there was a way to connect, I lost interest. I wish you luck in your search and hope you can find what you are looking for!
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I can only imagine what you went through...I imagine and over all feeling of disappointment. Have you thought about trying to contact your brothers directly? If you did decide to go this route, maybe a email to bmom letting her know you would like to contact them and see if she agrees. Who knows, maybe there would be more of a connection there.When I filed to have my records unsealed, the court appointed a intermediary. It was just a fluke thing that I found out who my bmom is at the same time....I don't know why I had never tried ancestory.com before. It was so easy. I searched all baby girls born on my bdate and in my county. Out of the 28 girls born, only one was born with no fathers name, no baby's, name and listed as INF OF(infant of). It also helped that I received a copy of some confidential papers from the courts by mistake. That information verified what I had already discovered.I probably jumped the gun when I called her. After much thought, I decided to not tell the intermediary. I felt really bad and did not want her to be upset with me. The official next step was to write a letter from me, and one from her stating the proof we had, I was not looking for anything more than info and to possibly be friends...etc. Those letters went out earlier this week. Now I wait and pray for a reply.If I can help or be a sounding board...feel free to message me.Blessings to you,K
I was born in Springfield, IL and I dont think Ancestory
has births in Illinois (1959). I have requested on Nov17 2011 my orig Birth Cert due to the new law in Illinois. They have two workers and they have only gotten through the 1st day as of this week March 20, My request was stamped the third day, probably end of april (if lucky) at this rate. And my bmom could still have blocked it, Lookig for a work around.
thanks
John
kvs102
I can only imagine what you went through...I imagine and over all feeling of disappointment. Have you thought about trying to contact your brothers directly? If you did decide to go this route, maybe a email to bmom letting her know you would like to contact them and see if she agrees. Who knows, maybe there would be more of a connection there.
When I filed to have my records unsealed, the court appointed a intermediary. It was just a fluke thing that I found out who my bmom is at the same time....I don't know why I had never tried ancestory.com before. It was so easy. I searched all baby girls born on my bdate and in my county. Out of the 28 girls born, only one was born with no fathers name, no baby's, name and listed as INF OF(infant of). It also helped that I received a copy of some confidential papers from the courts by mistake. That information verified what I had already discovered.
I probably jumped the gun when I called her. After much thought, I decided to not tell the intermediary. I felt really bad and did not want her to be upset with me.
The official next step was to write a letter from me, and one from her stating the proof we had, I was not looking for anything more than info and to possibly be friends...etc. Those letters went out earlier this week. Now I wait and pray for a reply.
If I can help or be a sounding board...feel free to message me.
Blessings to you,
K