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I'm a natural mom for nine years now and thought that my daughter's (adoptive) parents and I had a good relationship but over time things have progressively gone downhill. Right now it seems like things are at the point of no return and I'm considering legal action. They have become verbally abusive and played plenty of mind games and at this point I don't know if much of anything that they'd shared with my about my daughter has been true. They've gone so far as to tell me (when my daughter was a month old) how much the adoption had cost them, screaming no less, said that she wants to meet us nearly every consecutive year literally from day one...setting up a meeting time etc then going on to tell me that I'm delusional, that I'm not the type of person that they want their daughter to know. I'm completely hurt and lost in this entire mess and above all am worried sick about my daughter. Any words of wisdom or advice?? Am currently in the process of proceeding forward with court. ugh.
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I'm sorry things are difficult. It doesn't sound like they are treating you nicely at all. Are you supposed to have an open adoption or was it agreed on no contact with dd until a certain age or ??
I'm wondering what legal action you are considering. Do you have a legally binding contract with her parents of any kind? If not, I worry that you'll end up spending a lot of money & time for nothing. It's unlikely that you'd win a court battle against them since they are legally her parents and can decide whatever they want in regards to people in her life.
Have you considered mediation as a first step? A visit with a family therapist that might be able to help all of you communicate & get along? It doesn't sound like there is a meeting of the minds between you & them at all, so just wondering if an objective 3rd party could help sort out what each of you wants & can agree upon.
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Unfortunately you do not have very much legal ground to stand on. This is so sad and not what you want to hear and I am sorry. In the end your child will find out the truth.
I can honestly bear witness to the fact that Aparents who treat their children as possessions may end up with no children to call their own. I personally know of one who spent Mother's day without a call, without a card, and without the love of her children due to her manipulations and lies. This was not a falling out or a spat, this is a forever situation she created on her own.