Accuracy in Special Needs Adoption

so far....our referral paperwork was NOT accurate. we have had 2 updates and those match, but they do NOT match the original list of diagnosis. our IA doctor actually believes that somehow the original referral paperwork did not belong to our child and that there was some sort of mix up in documents- that is how far off they are from each other. (we would have never known had we not asked for 2 updates!) i don't know how common that is...and we will see what happens when we get there to pick her up....but we made a decision to adopt her knowing that things were already not correct and so we are really unsure what to expect. currently the outlook is very positive for our little one.....but we have made a commitment to her, regardless of any issues that pop up or have not been disclosed so we are comfortable with whatever comes up later....but this is also our 6th adoption of a child with some sort of special needs so we have been around the block a few times. ;) my motto has been to hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. there are many parents i have met along this journey who have actually adopted healthy children, to find out later that they had serious special needs. so it happens. i think that is something you need to be prepared for...so on one hand, yes, i think you should anticipate the needs being higher than you think they will be. it is something to prepare for. also....sometimes adjustments and attachment issues are harder to deal with than the actual special need....so you need to read up on attachment as well. this is not a road to journey down lightly...however, i believe if you are well prepared you will be blessed beyond measure. :)

It sounds like you were able to have the paperwork reviewed and do know what to expect--to a degree--now. So should we definitely try to locate a pediatrician with an interest in international adoption in our area to help us review the paperwork before we accept a referral? A major hospital near us also has an international adoption clinic. Would that be a better option?

well...we only know what to expect if the updates were accurate and complete. if something was left off- purposely or accidently....we obviously won't know that until later. having the paperwork reviewed by a doctor state side is a must for my agency. we hired an international adoption doctor in our area and she looked over our referral paperwork and looks over any updates for a fee. when our daughter arrives home, her first appointment will be with this doctor, and this appt SHOULD be covered by our insurance. if we would have been unable to find an IA doctor in our area...there were many many choices for hiring one out of our area to review the file and updates....and fees vary for these services. if the major hospital near you has one...i'd look into that one first.... just for convenience. :) some agencies have places they recommend as well. be prepared to spend anywhere from 200-500 dollars for this service.

She was right to say read up on attachment. Have you? Do you know what it means?I read about a young US couple who were working with a special needs agency in China. Sounded really above board. They adopted one child from there, his parents adopted another child. I'm not sure how to find that link but could try. Are you already committed to one agency?

I'm well aware of attachment issues. This has been a long process for us, coming to the decision to adopt and that we want kids.We have a local agency we're talking to and will probably use. They have a list of agencies they work with, and we think we have one of those picked out.

:clap: good luck on your journey!

I would also recommend utilizing the help of an international adoption doctor. In fact, if possible, I would suggest going in for a consult before you even look at a file. We sat down with ours for about 2 hours and went through our agency's medical list questionnaire to talk about what we were and weren't open to and get our general questions answered. It was so helpful when we started looking at files. The first file I sent to her she was able to immediately notice something that indicated that the child's condition was very different from what was stated. She was able to quickly remind us that this child unfortunately fell way outside the scope we had previously said we were comfortable with, and it alleviated some of the bad feelings we had turning his file back in to the agency. With our current referral, we had already had that general talk about what her condition was and the challenges associated with it so it made her review and the consult much more in depth since we were able to focus on this child's individual characteristics without needing a full explanation of the condition itself. Best wished to you!

Thanks, all. I suppose it's a leap of faith, and I just have to have trust in the doctor(s) we choose and the authorities assisting us with the adoption. That's not easy, but I guess it's really the only option.