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I was reading an excerpt from the book "Being adopted; the lifelong search for self", the chapter entitled "The adopted child". This excerpt was sent to me by a post-adoption resources centre here in Australia. I have heard that this book is an excellent resource for adoptees.
On the whole, the excerpt was pretty good, however there was one section I have a few quibbles about.
It is as follows:
.......A third option, keeping the baby, is barely discussed in these political debates. While we don't aim to address the adoption-not-abortion issue in this book we can say that based on recent psychological research, adoption is probably a better solution to an unplanned pregnancy - from the point of view of the child's eventual adjustment - than is keeping the child in a birth family that doesn't want her.
International research has compared the development of children reared in a variety of settings, adoptive families,institution, foster homes or in birth families in which the mothers had originally planned to give up their babies for adoption but changed their minds.
In one such study, Michael Bohman, a psychiatrist at the university of Umea in Sweden, and his colleagues studies the development of Swedish children raised in what Bohman called "ambivalent" homes - children whose mothers had registered them for adoption but the subsquently changed their minds. Bohman compared these children with children who were adopted at birth, chilren raised in permanent foster homes and children living in the community with their non-ambivalent biological parents.
At the age of 11, the non-adopted children in biological homes showed the lowest rate of emotional and behaviouoral disturbances, followed by the adopted children. But the most disturbed were the children raised in foster care and, significantly, the child raised by biological parents who had originally considered putting them up for adoption. This finding goes against the conventional wisdom that the biological family, no matter how unwilling it is to keep a child, is always better than any alternative.
A similar conclusion was reached by Henry P David, a pyschologist at the University of Maryland, who looked at the legacy of being "born unwanted" in a slightly different way. David studied children in Czechoslovakia born to mothers who had twice been denied abortions by government authorities. Children raised by the "resistant mothers", he found, were at an increased risk for emotional and behavioural difficulties, minimal brain dysfunction and academic underachievement. Even in young adulthood, they suffered reduced life satisfaction, less job satisfaction, difficulty in love relationships, increased criminality and other problems.
But even though being adopted is better for a child than is being raised in an ambivalent home, foster care or an institutuion, it is not perfect, it carries complications and difficulties of its own. Because of the long tradition of viewing adoption as a solution to many problems, when professionals and lay people have had trouble accepting the possibility that the solution itself could at times be a problem. But we believe that knowing about the complications that can be expected will help adoptees, their parents, and the professional community better deal with them as they arise"
I know a lot of adoptees think this book is wonderful and I do admit that the rest of the chapter is pretty good.
However, if I were an adoptee and this was my first resource, I would probably read the above as saying that if my bparents had changed their minds and kept me, then they would have resented it in the end. I know that may not be the authors' actual intention but I am quite sure a lot of people would have the same interpretation. However, I have never got the impression that the birthmothers on here would have resented their child if they had changed their minds.
In the cases of those bmothers who really didn't want their child (eg the Czech bmothers who were refused 2 abortions), then yes adoption probably is best.
As for the children whose mothers had registered them for adoption but the subsquently changed their minds being more "disturbed" than those raised by the "ambivalent parents", perhaps it is more to do with the conditions that led them to contemplate placing their child for adoption in the first place may not have changed in any way. For example, if extreme poverty was why they contemplated placing their child for adoption and those conditions remained throughout the child's life, then that could cause the disturbance. Also, if the reason for adoption was that the child was the result of an "affair" and the mother and her husband decided to raise the child, the husband could grow to resent the child. It may in fact have nothing to do with the mother thinking that she wished she had in fact placed her child for adoption. Btw, I am not saying that there aren't those mothers who may wish they had, I am just saying that there are a lot of factors that could colour the results.
I just feel that the two studies done are not just "slightly different", they are a lot different. But who am I to argue with studies.
What do people think?
NB: I note the book was written in 1993 which 18 years ago.
NB: I know a lot of people think that I think that all birthmothers desperately wanted to keep their child but were coerced out of them but I have NEVER thought that at all. It is just that I don't think it is as simple as birthmothers placing their children just because "they didn't want to parent". As I said above there are many and varied factors and influences which lead a woman to place a child for adoption. I just had to put that disclaimer in.
Caths...I think everyone knows my views on adoption studies where the response is provided by the parent vs the adoptee (once away from home) and those studies really don't wash with me...it could be true but it is also from Sweden where domestic adoption is less common (more in line with Australia?) and single parenthood widely accepted if I remember correctly.
Overall Brodzinsky has a pretty good handle on it and the book should be required reading for parents as it breaks everything down to ages and levels of cognitive development in understand the impact of adoption and I would go so far as to say it should be kept on the nightstand...
Kind regards,
Dickons
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Interesting you say that Dickons, I've done some looking around here about domestic adoptions (was looking for a support group for birthmoms originally) and read that the rate of domestic adoption in Sweden is so low that it's nearly insignificant. Something like about 20 adoptions per year in the entire country!!
I'm not sure how fostering works, but I really have to wonder about the subject base for the researcher in Ume? Maybe it's parents who were on the edge of needing to put their kids in foster care? Who knows!
Quantum,
I think Sweden accepted single parenthood a lot earlier than for example the US and especially the conservative US population. It is sad to me that some religions are still so focused on the stigma that adoption is the preferred solution to single parenthood...
D
Dickons
Caths...I think everyone knows my views on adoption studies where the response is provided by the parent vs the adoptee (once away from home) and those studies really don't wash with me...it could be true but it is also from Sweden where domestic adoption is less common (more in line with Australia?) and single parenthood widely accepted if I remember correctly.
Overall Brodzinsky has a pretty good handle on it and the book should be required reading for parents as it breaks everything down to ages and levels of cognitive development in understand the impact of adoption and I would go so far as to say it should be kept on the nightstand...
Kind regards,
Dickons
I have heard that the book is pretty good so will definitely seek the whole book out. I suppose I just didn't see much point in that bit about the studies being in there, that is all. To me, it just sounded like the authors were saying "if you hadn't been adopted, your parents would have resented you and these are the studies proving it" which, as I didn't think the studies were overly relevant, made me think that section was pointless and in fact misleading.
Just on a side note, I have often wondered what support an emom who decides to parent her child after the baby is born gets or is able to get or is she more or less on her own? Are there outreach programs for these women? It is just that someone said once on another thread said that their agency told them (an AP) that a large number of emoms who decide to parent still end up placing their child and I have often wondered whether that is because they have no support. Also, I also read a comment on another forum once where a mother who did decide to parent actually had the agency constantly ringing them trying to get them to change their mind and I certainly hope that that isn't standard practice.