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Since I always run over here to post when I have had a terrible, rotten, no good, horrible day with my kids, I thought I would post about some GOOD stuff that is happening.
Saturdays have always been rough (since JL and B moved in 2 years ago) All of the attatchment issues are magnified due to the laid back, no schedule nature of a Saturday afternoon! So, I have been taking an online class (Heather Forbes) and doing a lot of introspection about why my kids behavior makes me so darn MAD! I have also been handling their behaviors very differently and making our relationship a top priority.
Today was wonderful! My 7 yr old said mommy and daddy over and over again like a baby would do when they are first learning to speak. Instead of getting really annoyed, I was in tears. It was like her heart was opening up and accepting us...finally. My son beamed as he played his baseball game and he kept telling everyone "Coach is MY DAD!" like he was so proud.
We spent the entire day together, all 5 of us, and we finally FELT that happiness and contentment we have been striving for. There is joy back in our home again!:banana:
I know there will still be challenges and bad days, but it sure is nice to have a good one here and there. Gives me hope that I am not working my butt off for nothing!
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I am so glad that you had a good day, feeling happiness with your family. It feels great! All your hard work is paying off (maybe a little at a time). :)Actually, we had a great day yesterday also - a hike, at lunch in a restaurant. No faking, no peeing-in-pants. It felt like our kids were being authentic and content with us - it felt great.
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Thanks ya'll!
Things are getting better one day at a time. The difference has really been in my change of mindset. Their "issues" are still there, I just see them more as an opportunity to build our relationship than an annoyance.
I still have a lot of work to do. There are still times that I really don't want to be around my 7 yr old. But, there are more and more genuine, attatchment moments between us every day.
BTW, swimming is WONDERFUL for attatchment. We just put our pool up this week and there is something about that water that just relaxes everyone. I am having fun with my kids, teaching them to swim, riding them on my back, teaching them to float on the water etc. It is all skin to skin contact that makes them feel very close. They also have to trust me not to let them sink! It's like a therapy session every time we are in there!
We paid $300 bucks for our pool and this is our 3rd summer using it. I'd say that's a little cheaper than therapy!:clap:
ugh. It's funny that I ran across this post today. Today was NOT a good Saturday. It just goes to show how much of a roller coaster life is when you are raising traumatized children!!!
It was good, however, to look back on some good times and remember that there will be more of those...just not today!
My son and the stealing, my daughter and her manipulation. She told my 3 year old that "mommy is dead":( and she keeps telling my 4 month old "I'm your mommy!" that's just jacked up. And I will be honest, it gets me so mad I get migranes from holding it all in!
Oh well, tomarrow is a new day!
Glad I have these boards or I would feel totally and completely alone!
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