Hello Everyone!

I would call your RW and see what she sayd. It can't hurt! What number did you call in Trenton, btw? It was nice to hear from you...its been quiet around here. No placement/calls since the fall. Eileen

Hi Eileen! I know it's been quiet here! Wish ppl posted more frequently...The #'s I called were 609 292-3805 (Gail) and (609) 292-2304 (Peggy). Are you still wanting to foster/adopt?

Gail is very helpful. She'll tell you how many times you've been submitted and for what type of child. I've had an active homestudy with the Adoption Unit since June 2006 - submitted many times, not selected. I've moved on to private adoption with an agency. Good luck to anyone waiting..

Yes, I am still very much wanting to foster/adopt (despite the bad experience last fall...I made some mistakes then, and feel badly about that. It was definitely a learning experience. I won't make the same mistakes again :) ) Thanks for the number to Trenton!

Best of luck to you, Vernell!!!!!

Hello fellow-NJ foster parents, I am new to all of this (parenting, this blog, fostering etc.) I was just licensed and am waiting for a placement. I asked for just one child to start (I am open to sibling sets after I get my feet wet with just one) and am assuming it might be a while before I get a call. I also don't want infants (again, maybe later, but not to start with)....I know I sound really picky but it's just me (single) and I work full-time and I'm really, really worried about taking on more than I can handle. I have a hard time saying "no" sometimes.... Kate - you're in Monmouth, right? Me too...I guess it's quiet at the moment? Any advice, suggestions, tips are greatly welcome. Eileen - I would love to hear more about what happened to you last fall. I looked through your previous posts but didn't see anything. Thanks in advance for all your help!

Thanks!!!!!!

Have to tell you- I've had a great experience fostering for Monmouth County. I really haven't encountered any negative caseworkers or supervisors. Heck, I even had a wonderful meeting with a birth parent last week! It seems to good to be true and sometimes I fear what's to come because we've been really lucky. I think you should get a call soon. Monmouth County is pretty busy, I think, although my resource worker says it's been slow on placements. What age group are you looking to foster? One thing I would stress is that kids really do go home. I'm not sure they stress that enough in the classes. Maybe they did and I just wasn't prepared to listen! Another thing I highly suggest is to try and reach out to the birthparents through notes/ pictures, etc...It makes them more willing to work with you for the good of the child. Make sure the child is neat and nicely dressed for visitation with the birthparents. This is huge in my book because I feel that it's important for them to see that their child is important to us and well cared for. Try not to be too judgemental. I know it's difficult sometimes/ most times, but please try to keep in mind that we all make mistakes and we are all one decision away from a lifetime of life altering consequences.

Thanks so much for the advice! My age range is 2 -8, I would consider younger but I don't have a crib. I didn't really want to buy one not knowing what age I'd get and I can't take a hand-me-down crib as they are all drop-side. Also, I'm going to be using full-time daycare so I didn't really want a teeny tiny baby put right into daycare after coming to live with me. My homestudy worker said if they needed a younger placement badly enough, they would bring a crib with the child. I've had a great experience with Monmouth also. Everyone I've met and spoken to since this process began has been wonderful. And the whole licensing process was incredibly quick and smooth. I read all the horror stories on here and feel like you do - like it is too good to be true. I realize NJ has had a huge overhaul of its child protective services in the past five years and that its lawsuit settlement is still ongoing and there is still a federal monitor overseeing everything. I think all the changes have been really positive and I hope the progress and improvements that have been made will last! I don't have a problem with the kids going home...at least in theory. Keep in mind I don't have a child yet so I may change my opinion based on the circumstances of the case but I truly do believe that biological bonds are incredibly important. I will TRY not to be judgmental but I think that's going to be the hardest part for me. I think if it was "one bad decision" on the part of the bio parents, I could be very non-judgmental but watching someone make the same bad decisions over and over again is going to be hard. I appreciate the advice! I'll let you know when I get my first placement!

Fostering is like a box of chocolates...don't know what you have until you've taken a bite (or a placement). Even with all the heartache I wouldn't change having 'my' baby in my home for the time he was here. God is still in control!

Well said Vernell! You just never know how a placement is going to go....God is in control and that is another great point to bring up. I have had to accept that I have no control over what happens, it is all in the hands of those who make the decisions and we can only hope that they have the wisdom to do just that. Ultimately, only God knows what will happen and it's not random- it's always for a reason.