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DH and I had our first visit with a child this week; today we received news that all pre-placement visits have been ordered to stop until a court date next week. Parental rights have been terminated already; however, the child has an older sibling that they are wanting to separate and not adopt out together (older sibling is violent towards younger one). Our adoption specialist has never heard of this happening. DH and I are very upset and confused over this. I'm hoping that someone can help shed some light on this situation.
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I'm confused too. Were/Are you planning to adopt both kids or were you just planning to adopt the one child?Did you just now find out about the second sibling? And I don't understand why visits have been ordered to stop, unless you're wanting and pushing for both kids and the court feels it's a safety issue? I hope time goes quickly for you and the court hearing is a successful one!
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No we were only going to adopt the little girl. There were several witnesses to her brother being hostile towards her and they put them into separate foster homes. They were going to court so it would be legal to adopt them out by themselves.
Anyway...long story short - it was the foster home that she was staying in. The foster parents wanted to adopt her, so they are the ones the stopped the visits. Court was held this past Thursday and the outcome was not in our favor. Her foster parents are going to be able to adopt her. Needless to say my husband and I are very update by this. We felt we were lied too and that our adoption specialist dropped the ball with setting up visits, etc. We're not certain if there is anything we can do at this point. When we went for our first appointment with our adoption specialist she told her about the foster parents, but stated that we were first in like to adopt her.
Husband and I don't have any children and are just heart-broken about this. It makes me not even want to go through with this.
Oh, I understand that is hard when she was already in your hearts! And you have every right to be angry and upset. But don't let this make you give up! Your child is out there!
And, if you can, try to be happy for the little girl that she gets to stay with the foster parents that she is (hopefully) already bonded to. That is one less move and one less trauma she has to go through in her life.
And now you know yet another question to ask about a potential placement -- are foster parents interested in adopting? If the answer is yes on a future placement, you may want to have your worker probe deeper before you start visits and get your heart broken again.
Hang in there, though. There is a child out there for you!!