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One thing that I just remembered is that amom said before was that adaughter had OCD and thats why they had not told her because she would obsess over it. In the message amom last sent when they decided not to tell her she told my daughter that it wouldnt be like they could be sisters like they would never have a relationship. What if they told her and she wanted to meet her sister, and they told her she had to wait until she was 18. What if an adoptee wants to search out their birthfamily when they are underage, how does that work? Just in case no one knows the situation I posted another topic in this forum about my daughter friended adaughter on facebook
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Jdox, I read your other post about FB and had no advice so did not respond. Until she is 18 she legally has no right to force contact as legally they aren't sisters so no best interests. I still cannot wrap my head around any parent NOT telling their child - if only because of the family health history, although people don't seem to be educated on how important it can be. I hope the "parents do the right thing and tell her" as they should have already told her years and years ago. No idea if the OCD thing is an issue as there are so many different degrees to it. And you have to wonder if she hasn't been told but knows something is not right if that would contribute to the issue of OCD. Really really sorry but the parents put themselves in this position by jumping the gun with your other daughter. Kind regards,Dickons
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I've lived with someone with OCD for most of my life. If AD truly has OCD, AM is correct. She will likely obsess
However, if she isn't obsessing about this, she'll obsess about something said at school.. or a stray hair.. or whether to buy pink nail polish or red.
If anything, the level of attention that would be brought to the surface may be intimidating for AM. I can see how OCD would amplify her concerns of what she'd need to deal with
They are using her OCD as an excuse, assuming she even has it. If she does, are they going to protect their nearly grown daughter from every life event that can stress her? I don't see how that will help her cope in the real world. There are many treatement options for OCD, both medication wise and cognitive/behavioral wise. I'm sure with proper medical and therapeutic intervention, she can manage knowing she is adopted. This should have never been kept from her in the first place.
Without going into too much detail, I am extremely familiar with OCD...and the emotional torture that goes along with it when you can't refocus your mind on something else. BUT, in my experience, the obsessions are rarely about the big things in life, rather they usually involve the small stuff...like bills, home repairs, everyday decisions such as what to buy in the grocery store, and this is the big one: everything has to be in the place I left it...i.e., my desk may look messy to you, but believe me, I know exactly where every single pencil, paper clip, and eraser belongs. And my mind gets side-tracked if someone moves my stuff around.
I think your daughter's aparents are using her OCD as an excuse. She's going to obsess about something anyway...so why not obsess about you?
RavenSong
Without going into too much detail, I am extremely familiar with OCD...and the emotional torture that goes along with it when you can't refocus your mind on something else. BUT, in my experience, the obsessions are rarely about the big things in life, rather they usually involve the small stuff...like bills, home repairs, everyday decisions such as what to buy in the grocery store, and this is the big one: everything has to be in the place I left it...i.e., my desk may look messy to you, but believe me, I know exactly where every single pencil, paper clip, and eraser belongs. And my mind gets side-tracked if someone moves my stuff around. I think your daughter's aparents are using her OCD as an excuse. She's going to obsess about something anyway...so why not obsess about you?
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