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I thought long and hard about sending amom a heart to heart. She and I spent a lot of time when I was pregnant, we got REALLY close. Not only had she lost a baby to SIDS, the pregnancy left her with a hysterectomy in the end so she could not have anymore. Before me she had several bmoms change their minds after the baby was born.
I have to admit I wanted her the second I saw her, I honesty didnt think I could get the 10 days waiting period. I wanted to get back her back but I couldnt hurt amom like that. I sacrificed my feelings for hers. I never told her that, I never told anyone. Amom had already developed a bound with my miracle baby as she called it.
At the same time though her father and I were not stable. Was it wrong for me to suffer like that for someone else benefit? I knew they could provide what I couldnt.
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I'm sorry you had to go thru that.I also went thru similar things.The amom had me completely fooled until everything was legal and at that point I was screwed and without any legal rights to mu child.
I had decided I wanted to change my mind and get her back at one point and I really should have done it.
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I can imagine the pain and grief you must feel over the loss of your baby girl... I have three from a previous marriage and am now pregnant with a fourth that I've decided to release for adoption. I'm okay most days, but I have moments of fear and knowing how maternal I naturally am, I am already grieving a bit for the baby I will never really know. But, as you pointed out, the relationship you have with the birthfather isn't stable. I have the same situation here. I know that the birth family we've chosen will be able to give our precious gift the things my three children have had with their daddy and I, that my boyfriend and I could never provide. I am sacrificing my feelings over my baby for the good of my child. It's not just the amother you'd be hurting, it's your baby. it's an amazing gift to be able to give someone who can't have a baby. The family our baby is going to is a midwife and a painter. She's been a midwife for quite some time, but never been able to have children of her own due to some health problems. The excitement and gratification they are feeling over receiving such a precious gift is contagious, and that's the feeling I'm chosing to hold on to. What you gave this woman will come back to you somehow in your life, in some other way. You have done a beautiful, courageous thing, for the benefit of two other lives. You've shown compassion, and real love for your child and this woman bereaved of her own child and her ability to bear more. That's an incredible thing, and I honor you for it. And it's true, what doesn't actually kill us makes us stronger... and wiser, and more loving, and more compassionate. Beautiful.