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I am the birth Mom to a beautiful 14 year old girl. When she was 2 I gave her up for adoption to a distant relative.I have stayed in contact and have always been in her life but she did not know who I was.Our agreement was supposed to be that she would know I'm her mom but once it was legal they didn't allow it.
Ok now a few weeks ago, she found out she's adopted and who I really am.I have another daughter that I was also going to give up and didn't , they have always called each other sissy but they now know they are sisters.
My problem right now is the family is really giving her a hard time about wanting to know us better and see us.
They have adult kids that are treating my daughter pretty crappy cause she see's us and chooses us over them sometimes.
I just don't know what to do, this is really getting hard. Anyone have some advice or been thru this?
She really hurt my feelings today too but I didn't let her know that when I saw her.
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mommy2cmm
My problem right now is the family is really giving her a hard time about wanting to know us better and see us.
They have adult kids that are treating my daughter pretty crappy cause she see's us and chooses us over them sometimes.
I just don't know what to do, this is really getting hard. Anyone have some advice or been thru this?
She really hurt my feelings today too but I didn't let her know that when I saw her.
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She put on her Facebook status saying Happy Mother's Day to her Amom and never said anything about me. And for the past 5 years she calls me every Mother's day and tells me I'm like her 2nd mom and has always acknoledged me in some way and now she knows I am her bmom she didn't say anything and it just really hurt.
I know she must really be going thru a hard time with this and I am trying so hard to say and do the right things for her.
We used to talk at least once a week, now she don't call much.But I do see her every other Sunday so that she can visit her sister with me.
I would imagine that your daughter is feeling very hurt and betrayed right now. I'm sure that discovering her true origins had to be rather traumatic. I'd be really angry if I was 14 years old and discovered that my favorite aunt was really my mother. I would feel lied to by everyone I trusted and loved.She's always acknowledged you on Mother's Day as her aunt, not her mother. When my favorite aunt was alive, I did the same thing. My aunt was much more of a mother figure to me than my own mom was. I think that if I found out that my aunt really was my mother, I most likely would not have sent a Mother's Day card this year either. Your daughter has to be sorting a lot of things out in her mind right now, and one of those things is how to think you from now on. It's going to take some time for her to process her feelings and thoughts about everything. Please give her that time and space.
I am really glad I found this thread. I just had my baby last week and the father and I had decided on a family through the organization I am going through but the night before I was to be induced he started insisting his aunt and uncle adopt the baby. I am not very comfortable for a number of reasons but first and foremost worried about what would happen when the child gets older and will feel uncomfortable knowing the guy sitting next to him at Christmas dinner is really her dad. I am supposed to meet with the families again tomorrow for him and I to try to come sort of resolution. My emotions can't take much more of the agony of deciding on a family.
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hopefuldee
I am really glad I found this thread. I just had my baby last week and the father and I had decided on a family through the organization I am going through but the night before I was to be induced he started insisting his aunt and uncle adopt the baby. I am not very comfortable for a number of reasons but first and foremost worried about what would happen when the child gets older and will feel uncomfortable knowing the guy sitting next to him at Christmas dinner is really her dad. I am supposed to meet with the families again tomorrow for him and I to try to come sort of resolution. My emotions can't take much more of the agony of deciding on a family.
hopefuldee
Thanks so much for the support!! He ended up changing his mind and going with the original family because he would have more opportunity to see her if she was placed with him, as his uncle had made it quite clear that seeing her would be difficult and they live in another state.
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