So MAD at these workers with Attitudes!

Today we had a visit with my adopted kids' first mom and her two kids, a new baby and a toddler. The visits take place every two weeks in another county, and are required to be at the DHR office and supervised. That is totally against policy for us, but they are jerking us around with visits ever since the toddler came into care a year ago and I had to go up the ladder to prevent toddler from being adopted out. Whichever higher-up person who was trying to give the child to a certain couple looking for a baby to adopt was apparently quite offended the plan didn't work, and my kids and I have NOT been treated too nicely ever since. The SW has changed his behavior in the past few months and seems to understand I'm just fighting for the kids to be together and they love each other. However we don't see him much. And he's the low rung on the ladder. The supervisor for the visits hardly speaks to the kids, and just sits and writes comments on her paper or does other paperwork. Since the newborn arrived, the SW supervisor has relented and allowed the first mom and me both to stay in the visits. It was hatefulness we were ever NOT allowed. Several of our visits have been cancelled last minute, even though we travel 2 1/2 hrs to get there and the kids miss school. Visits are only allowed during school hrs, I'm sure to discourage them from taking place. Sometimes they take place in tiny rooms, with the office knowing full well there are 7 kids that are visiting. We missed our visit 2 weeks ago due to tornados that day. We also were not allowed a make up visit. When we were almost to the other county today, I received an email stating the visit needed to be cancelled due to no room available and the visit supervisor couldn't come. A minute later came a "never mind" email, saying the visit was still on. When we got there, we were led to an adequate size room with a decent amount of toys. There were 5 desks/work areas against walls, two unused. There were 2 women working at the desks and the visit supervisor took the third desk. The children played and had a good time. One of my AS's always gets a little nervous there, he was in foster care a LONG time, moved 20 times, and he acts out a little when there by being aggravating to my little son. Normally they get along great, and the little guy worships his big brother. Now any decent SW oughta realize foster and former foster kids can act out just a BIT. Especially when stressed. But its like they just want to see that my kids aren't perfectly behaved so they can say something ugly and claim I cannot control my kids. Nevermind we have had numerous stressful visits where either the SW supervisor or the former foster parents of the siblings started some drama in front of the kids. The first hour of the visit, I did have to talk to my older and youngest sons there about sharing, not talking too loud, not running. The second half, they were fine. But the visit supervisor was like nitpicking their behavior the entire time, like she walked in ticked off and was just looking for somebody to fuss at. Then 30 min. before the scheduled end of the visit, she tells the kids put everything up. She had already gotten on to the boys for using empty chairs and an unused desktop to color on. So what were they supposed to do the last 30 minutes? Sit on the floor and whisper?? I told them put away everything but a couple of things after reminding her we still had 30 minutes. Fifteen minutes later she told them put it away again and pack up our snacks. We did. My kids' first mom was cleaning off the table and the visit supv. acted rudely to her, like she was missing a spot. So she said something back to her in Spanish and English calmly, which annoyed the woman and I jumped in. I told her it seemed she had had an attitude since we came in the door. The kids hadn't been bad, yet she was fussing at the slightest opportunity and ending the visit early, and criticizing the pretty much perfect clean up job we did. Another worker jumped up and said they didn't have to let us visit anyway, she had cancelled her foster kids family visits today and we should just be happy we got to visit at all! I told her these kids deserved their visit, we come a long way to get there, it had been a month since the last one, and a devastating tornado had blown through since with everybody worried about each other's safety, and that our visits were not her business to cancel. I told the visit supv. I knew she was writing every little detail about our visit down and I know she'll be complaining about us now, but I certainly will be writing someone about her behavior as well. She just smarted off the children didn't act perfectly and did sit in the chairs and use loud voices at times. I looked down and saw one tiny thing left on the floor and said "whoops.... here's a little ball, I better throw that away... maybe we should empty the trash out on our way.." then headed with the kids out the door. We continued our visit outside DHR several more hours and the kids ended up having a wonderful time. But they won't forget her behavior and the stress level will be up there again in two weeks when we go back. Of course, when the SW supervisor hears me and first mom stood up to the visit supv., we'll probably be punished again by stopping visits again for awhile, or saying me and first mom can't come in anymore. I DON"T want my kids around ANY of the workers I've met in that county unsupervised -except maybe the siblings SW- he's a sweet guy and good with the kids. Our first visits a year ago started out with my kids' county SW SUPERVISOR coming to supervise the other county's SWs supervising the visits, as my adoption SW had been treated shockingly horrible when standing up to the other county and demanding visits for my kids with their siblings. And yes, the head of the state knows all about all that already. Everybody who could be involved and mediate and discipline has been involved. They just continue to get away with treating us like crap, and I'm painted as an argumentative trouble maker. I'm thinking that particular office just has a "screw you we can do whatever we want" culture. I quit fighting for visits elsewhere months ago and gave into their little game, believing if we are going to have a chance to bring home the siblings when the mother messes up again, we need the documented visits and demonstrated cooperation. I just can't believe all this. I've never fostered any other kids but my adopted kids. I have to deal with two other counties, the one my kids are from, and my own county. I have an excellent relationship with both of them, and both the other counties are shocked at this county's behavior. My first SW who led our training classes years ago actually told me recently that county's behavior towards my kids and me made her ashamed and embarrassed for the entire DHR department. I just don't get it and I'm so angry right now. I know within a few days something ugly will be said and my kids visits will be affected, and there won't be anything I can do about it. I also know they are having a meeting in a few weeks to decide whether to continue services for the first mom. I believe they will say she is doing fine so they can be rid of the problem they created when they tried to adopt out her baby- saying no way should a reunification be attempted, and then they got in huge trouble. Just give the baby back and act like nothing ever happened. Yet she has an extensive history of doing fine for awhile, then has boyfriend trouble and falls apart. Since she now has another new baby with another father who also has another woman pregnant, I don't think the pattern has changed and these children still need to be protected and watched over. The circumstances the toddler was found in REALLY were HORRIBLE, and with the long history of such things, RU should NOT have occurred. So why can't this be about the safety of the children..................!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? UGGGHHHH!!!