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Our foster daughter came to us at eight months old. She was only 12 lbs, totally starving, and completely unbonded/unattached. We have done a lot of work in the last two years and she is now a healthy little girl.
When she first came we were feeding her every two hours to get her to gain weight and also to get used to the security of food coming on a regular basis. She is now on a regular two year old feeding schedule (meal, sack, meal, snack, meal, snack).
We also have always left milk next to her bed so that if she wakes up in the night she can have it. (she never slept with a bottle/sippy cup in her mouth which I know is a big no no for tooth decay).
Last night for some reason, my husband put her to bed and forgot to leave a milk. She woke up in the middle of the night absolutly hysterical, screaming "I can't find the milk". She insisted on coming downstairs with me to get a milk and then cuddled with me and went back to sleep. She didn't actually drink the milk, just held it like a precious object.
I'm not sure what to think. Is it okay for her to be attached to a sippy cup of milk as a security blanket? Should I try to address it somehow? Should I try to transition her away from it? Or should I just let her have it because it makes her feel secure?
I'd love your thoughts.
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My 2 cents --- leave it there. She obviously still has some level of need to have it where she can see it. It could take years for her to get over the neglect of not getting food. My son is 13 and he still has issues with it. If you take it away my suspicion is that she will find something else or possibly stealing food.
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Thanks, Scandi. You know, I read through all of the "parenting books" and they talk about special issues: nightmares, separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, & etc. But none of the parenting books have a section titled: "children who were starved for the first eight months of their lives" or "children who were left in the crib until they stopped crying".
There are so few places to ask questions let alone get anwers.
scandi
My 2 cents --- leave it there. She obviously still has some level of need to have it where she can see it. It could take years for her to get over the neglect of not getting food. My son is 13 and he still has issues with it. If you take it away my suspicion is that she will find something else or possibly stealing food.