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My first non-white child my biracial son, was nearly four before I was aware that he noticed that he wasn't the same color as the rest of us. However, something happened with my full black son that proved that he was all ready aware of it, by 18 months. We took a trip to San Fransisco, with him and our two oldest kids. We preboarded and their dad sat in one row with the two oldest boys and I sat down behind them with Joseph, who was 18 months old, in my lap. A few minutes later, a women whose skin was almost exactly the same shade as his sat down by us. His eyes got real big, he gasped, and reached out and put his hand on her arm. He moved his hand back and forth from her arm to mine, several times, studying them. He was obviously well aware of it all, by then. Of course, it was a few more years before he realized that it was very unique for a little boy who looked like him to have a mama who looked like me, and a few more to realize that many people actually avoid or even hate each for being different. I think a perfect world would be if everyone could be well aware of the differences and even appreciate them, but not have it mean a thing, as far as who they love and respect, just like a little 18 month old boy.
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My son started noticing differences at about 2 years old. We were reading a book about a tortoise and a hippo that are friends. There were several people of all different races in one of the pictures. He pointed to a white girl and said, "Mommy." He pointed to a white guy and said, "Daddy." He pointed to a black man and said, "Me." Just the other day, completely out of the blue, he said, "Mommy is pink and I am brown."
My niece, who is black, was 17 months old when she came to my sister as a foster child and I think she already knew the difference. She would rub the faces of black people in magazines and books with her finger. As she learned to talk, she would rub them and say "like me".
I know my younger sister, who is white, recognized the difference when she was only 6 months old because for awhile she was terrified of black people. She was a twin and, back then, twins got alot of attention. Whenever we went out anywhere, people (sometimes 30 at a time) would gather around the stroller and stick their heads in and ask silly questions. My sister would always smile and coo at the white people, but scream like crazy whenever a black person stuck their head in. At about a year old, she started screaming "blue people" whenever it happened. It was really embarrassing!
i agree with the 18-24 month response, at least with my dd. but i must say, there is much more discussion at age 5yo. lately, everytime we are going to be with kids she's not met, she asks me what color skin they have. basically, i've learned she just wants to know what they look like. (and yes, we've had all the pertinent discussions about skin color) :love:
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Gwen72
"Mommy is pink and I am brown."
S verbalized it around 14-15months, she grabbed her leg and my arm while we were rocking for nap. "S has brown leg, Mommy has pink arm!" Very matter of fact. But as young as 6-9months I noticed she was ALWAYS drawn to other AA families when we were out in public. She'd smile, and laugh, and coo more for them than any other strangers we'd meet when out.
We always get the questions of who I am to her while out. About 6 months ago she seemed to be sick of the questions and now yells at everyone when asked "That's MY MOMMY!!!"
wishingndreaming- W is very interested in the difference between boys and girls right now too. I hate when he needs to use the bathroom in public. He likes to announce, "Mommy's a girl. She has a v@gin@. I am a boy. I have a p@ni$." He doesn't seem to want to talk about that in the privacy of our own home. No, he wants to give me an anatomy lecture in a box mart bathroom.
The other day, as my biracial son, Thomas, was holding his new, biracial nephew (the son of my black son, Joseph), I was reminded of another story with my kids. When Thomas was five and Joseph was a baby, we were in the car one day and he asked me why we said that he was biracial and Joseph was black. I told him it was because one of his birthparent was black and one was white, but both of Joseph's birthparents were black. We had a neighbor with a new, dalmation, puppy and Thomas said, "Oh, so I'm a dalmation, because I'm black and white!". Then Julia, my 3 YO white daughter, who had been quietly listening said, "I'm, green!"
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I have read studies that say children are two when they first start to notice race. She was probably about 3 when I started noticing her stare at black people when she saw them...like she was noticing their color. My daughter didn't start verbalizing the difference until 4.My blog:[url=http://blackgirlwhitefamily.blogspot.com/]Finding your Inner Black Girl in a White Family[/url]