Don't know what to do

Keep going! My first 2 foster placements were a brother/sister ages 2-1/2 yrs and 12 months. As it turned out they came up for adoption a couple of years later and I adopted them. I had intended to do just foster care, since I was older and had already raised a family, but here I am raising my second family :cheer: . I still do foster care and would adopt again if the opportunity arises. Good luck!!

I'm so glad to read these posts. I am just recently approved with Dekalb county and I keep hearing the same thing "increase your age range". We really want an infant but I have agreed to increase my age range to 4 years old. It has been such a long slow process to get approved. I am really getting discouraged. We completed the training classes last September. I'm trying to stay positive.

JurneesMom, DeKalb County GA? If so, PM me for a chitchat. We are in the same county.

Ugh! I hate when I hear about a worker saying that! Really? I mean, really? Here is a person/s who want to help, even if only younger kids, and you are discouraging them b/c why? It will cost money and your agency wants the easy way out? Yuck! Makes me glad I live where I do (in Arizona) where they are grateful for ALL foster parents and always looking for more, no matter how much or how little you want to help. I'm sorry for the rant. I wish you the best of luck and I, too, say don't give up. Keep going b/c you are needed.

Maybe they are discouraging them because they already have dozens of other families already waiting years for a placement. But if the worker didn't tell them that now, they would be accused of not telling the truth and being honest IMO. There was a couple in the orientation class that was looking for a 0-5 girl and really just wanted under 1 y.o. with very very mild to no needs. They were told that type was in very high demand and it would be better to go foster and hopefully find the child that way and then adopt, but straight adoption would take years to find that in this area with this agency. They never took the classes.

Our foster care case manager told us that people who are only looking to adopt just babies may never get what they are looking for. Most of the time babies come with siblings and they don't want to break up the family unit. Which is totally understandable.

Ditto, what she said, Ignore Them, they are just pressuring people to take Teens. Obviously the only kids being neglected are not Teens. You may wait awhile . . . or not, it's a toss up.

Hi, You don't have to work with the agency that is closest to the one you live in (county or whatever). I would try a different county's agency to see if you get better outlook. I heard all the time about that, too, and have no idea how many others are waiting for infant only adoptions, where I'm at (just outside a big city in North East), but there seems to me to be not a huge wait for infants - from what I've heard from those who have adopted. Of course, every county/agency/location is different. But I was somewhat surprised to learn about the bio mom of the two sibs we adopted (placed at ages 2 and 6 with us as foster kids) had a loooong history with social services and had three older kids taken from her at a young age, then she just "up and left" several babies at the hospital, then had my eldest, then another baby by another father between my two (also "left at the hospital"), and possibly another one still that was younger than my youngest adopted daughter. So basically she was high all the time, kept churnin' out the babies, and leaving most of them at the hospital. That, to me, is a lot of babies - close to one every year, for over a decade.... until she died of an overdose. Anyway, I'm sure she can't be the only mom to do this. Getting back to the agency thing... many people in my county I'm told, use a=the nearby city agency for their foster placements because the city's stipend is higher. But availability can change, too, depending on where you live and where the babies/children are that need placement.....

Consider recruiting help from friends and family to get through this time, which can be very hectic and overwhelming. While in the hospital, use the expertise around you. Many hospitals have feeding specialists or lactation consultants who can help you get started nursing or bottle-feeding. In addition, nurses are a great resource to show you how to hold, burp, change, and care for your baby.For in-home help, you might want to hire a baby nurse or a responsible neighborhood teenager to help you for a short time after the birth. Your doctor or the hospital can be a good resource for find information about in-home help, they may even be able to make a referral to home health agencies. In addition, relatives and friends can be a great resource. They may be more than eager to help, and although you may disagree on certain things, don't dismiss their experience. But if you don't feel up to having guests or you have other concerns, don't feel guilty about placing restrictions on visitors.My friend is an [URL="http://www.suredelights.co.uk"]escorts[/URL], she took care of these things.

Perhaps its that easy where you are, but in other places its just not that simple. Agencies in some places, such as NC, are must have a certain social worker to foster parent ratio in order to maintin their licenses. If the agency goes over that ratior the state will pull the agency's license. After all, the agency is supposed to have enough staff to adequately superviser the foster parents. The state doesn't, and indeed has no way, to calculate into that ratio all those parents that just aren't going to accept a placement. Sooo, if an agency has a ratio that allows 20 families per 1 social worker, which is a better use of their resources--the family that will accept just about any child/siblings or a family that only wants x type of child (which incidentally the first family would also be thrilled to have)? Personally, I don't think this sucks so much on the prospective parent side. Let's be honest, its not like its hard to find a whole line of parents for most of the under 6 age group. Of course, a whole bunch of those under 6 stay in care because even very young children can have serious mental health issues that the selective folks just aren't willing to handle. I do think the ratio issue sucks on the Waiting Child end. Which parent will the agency take--the potential foster adopt parent that is willing to take a succession of foster placements in holes of adoptiong.....or the family that has found a Waiting Child and only want to adopt--meaning the agency may or may not get any portion of the funding. $$ shouldn't factor in but even the best charities have to pay the bills.

It sounds like you are close to finishing so I would keep going if I were you. Also, don't be discouraged by the words of one social worker. It may be true. Or it may not be. I was told numerous times by 3 different social workers that I was in for a long wait or may never get placed because I am single and worked full-time. They said I would always lose out to 2 parent families where one could stay home with the child. Well, less than 2 weeks after getting licensed I was placed with a low legal risk newborn and 9 months later with a low legal risk 6-month old. I went on to finalize both adoptions within 18 months of getting my license. If you're with an agency, then you might want to look into going directly though the county if that is an option in your area. If there are few younger children, then the county might be placing them directly with their own families and bypassing the agencies. Also, try talking with some other local agencies to see what they have to say. It could be that THIS agency is not getting younger children, but other agencies are. If you're already with the county, then you might want to try calling some of the local agencies to see if they place children from other nearby counties. Your county may not have any younger children, but many agencies work with multiple counties so this might be a possibility. I would suggest you finish where you are since you only have 3 classes to go, while also looking into the other options. If you decide to switch to another agency, it will probably require that you start the whole process over again from scratch, but it might be worth it to increase your odds.

I would finish up the licensing process. Talk to the agency director, because she (the cw) may have her own agenda. I personally think they discourage everyone from thinking they will get a baby, but nationally, in 2010, 16% of children who entered foster care were less than a year old[url]http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/tar/report18.pdf[/url]We were discouraged too, but got two newborns and a 13 month old in a matter of 9 months, and were called for infants even when we took ourselves off of the placement list and also as a last ditch effort to keep us from letting our license expire after our 3rd adoption. Just wait for the placement you feel you want. You don't have to say yes to every call. Sure they may not call as often, but eventually they will need you.Also, one thing that I think you should keep in mind...there is a divine plan for everything in life. It's something that no caseworker, judge, or you, can change. If you decide to foster and want to adopt, I believe that you will get the child you are meant to have and who is meant to have you as a parent. Take it a day at a time. As far as siblings, there's just no way to know what the circumstances will be. Our first newborn had 4 siblings, but he was placed with us at birth because the grandmother, who adopted the other four, was too old and disabled to take in another child. Our daughter had two older siblings, but the ICPC was denied on the grandmother who was raising those siblings. So there's no way to know, siblings or not, family or not, who will stay with you. It's a divinely orchestrated mystery! Just ride the roller coaster, know that you might have some heartbreak, and have faith that you will be provided with what you and the child or children you get to adopt need.

I hope you have continued with your classes. We had five families in our foster training classes (small county, and one of the families was from a neighboring small county). We were all told that they had so few children being placed in our two counties that it would likely be quite a long time before any of us had placements, and the greatest need was for teen girls. In our first year of being licensed homes, only 1 family didn't have a foster placement within the first 3-4 months following licensing - and that is because they found out they were expecting their second bio-child and wanted to wait (although they have done respite care for multiple children in this year). That family continues to do respite until their youngest daughter gets a bit older, two of the families have multiple children (all unrelated, between 4 & 15 years old), one family pulled out of fostering (their teen FD went to another family from our class) and the fourth family (US) has a baby girl (placement at just under 2 weeks old). I agree with others who've said a lot of times they say things to scare potential FP's away. You've got to have strength and determination to be a FP - think of it as a test. Will you let them scare you away? We did accept that we likely would not be placed with an infant, but we stuck to our age limit from the very beginning (0-10 years), and it worked out for us. We are also working with county DFS, rather than a private agency, so I'm not sure if that would make a difference because of the ratios other posters mentioned.

We're in Jasper County, TX, working with an agency in Angelina County, TX, and I was told a couple of days ago that in our area, babies are as difficult to place as teens. We're looking to foster 0-4, but will take up to 5 or 6. I asked if there was a need for babies, and she said yes, absolutely! So, I hope you kept going!

Hello friend I full agree with you. MommaTina I hope you have continued with your classes. We had five families in our foster training classes (small county, and one of the families was from a neighboring small county). We were all told that they had so few children being placed in our two counties that it would likely be quite a long time before any of us had placements, and the greatest need was for teen girls. In our first year of being licensed homes, only 1 family didn't have a foster placement within the first 3-4 months following licensing - and that is because they found out they were expecting their second bio-child and wanted to wait (although they have done respite care for multiple children in this year). That family continues to do respite until their youngest daughter gets a bit older, two of the families have multiple children (all unrelated, between 4 & 15 years old), one family pulled out of fostering (their teen FD went to another family from our class) and the fourth family (US) has a baby girl (placement at just under 2 weeks old). I agree with others who've said a lot of times they say things to scare potential FP's away. You've got to have strength and determination to be a FP - think of it as a test. Will you let them scare you away? We did accept that we likely would not be placed with an infant, but we stuck to our age limit from the very beginning (0-10 years), and it worked out for us. We are also working with county DFS, rather than a private agency, so I'm not sure if that would make a difference because of the ratios other posters mentioned.