Advertisements
We are meeting with an emom on Wednesday, she likes us and so far we are good to go, she is due around July 23rd, she is African American. Last nite I had dinner at my parents, an aunt &uncle were in town, and the topic of our adoption came up. They are supportive and positive loving people, but kind of "back woods." Actually quite back woods, but with good intentions etc. They were talking about various situations they'd been in etc and kept using the term "colored." You could tell they were a little nervous, and trying to be as socially correct as possible...I didnt correct them, I just kept using the terms "African American" and "black." I dont even know myself how appropriate those terms are....I've seen conversations on here, and agree that not all "black" people are African American etc., but those are the terms most often used and the ones I feel most comfortable with. ANYWAYS...the conversation last nite eventually moved on w/out me saying anything because I didnt want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I did talk about it w/husband when home, because I know this is going to come up again. Both our families are mostly small town Wisconsin, and while not racist, many are definitely unenlightened or whatever you would call it. We tried to think of ways to "correct" people without seeming preachy or condemning etc when this comes up. I was thinking of if someone uses term colored, just saying, "You know, we like to say black when referring to race, would that be ok?" Obviously, any hurtful terms would be dealt with more aggressively and only once, but we would LOVE advice on how to deal with best intentions family members who require correction. Thank you!!!!!
Like
Share
as much as it's not an issue for YOU, you need to bring it up in a point-blank conversation so that the entire friend/family group is on track...i'm CC but my best friend is AA and she insists that we use the term 'black'. some may prefer "AA" instead. so you need to decide what you're comfortable using, then sit the family down and have a very candid conversation with them about correct terminology. 'colored' is pretty much out of use and is considered by many AA folks to be racist. OR, you could be like my friend and I and use terms that we use- I'm "porcelain" and she's "mocha late"...purely out of love...
Advertisements
Waiting,
I am also from Wisconsin and AA who spent lots of time in small town Wisconsin (also an aparent of a biracial little girl). Even in small town Wisconsin they have television and it should be pretty obvious that the term "colored" just isn't used anymore. I think that if you are considering transracial adopting you are gonna have to take on the responsibility of sometimes being a little bit rude or preachy to people about what they say even when,"they don't mean anything by it." Specifically, if their words may have a negative impact on your child.
Just my humble opinion.
Great feedback...as always. And taken very much to heart. Thank you. I will definitely be making contact with that Aunt prior to (if we are blessed and the match finalizes) the baby shower to talk about the language issue. Trust me, I will protect my boy. I was hesitant at that moment because things are still very up-in-the-air with the match etc....but when I think about it, it shouldnt even matter. That word is simply not appropriate. Ive had no problem taking issue with a coworker who amazingly used the word "Negro" on a test at school....Anyways...Thank you. Mamie, I really like your distinction of the terms...and I'm outside (north) of the Dells.
Advertisements