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Hi everyone!! Let me tell you my story :)
My husband and I have three boys (5, 3, and 8 months) and for the last 12 weeks we have been going through the STARS training and everything else that we needed to do in order to adopt two little bi-racial boys (I am bi-racial too and my DH is AA). The boys we want to adopt have been in the system for almost 3 years and are in elementary school. We feel like they are a perfect fit for our family and this sounds crazy, but I love them already! My DH and I were both adopted and we always knew we wanted to adopt too. We feel like we can bring a lot to the table for these boys. We have a new home, involved with church, DH is a Federal Officer, and I am a School Psychological Examiner for the special ed. program at the local school district. We just found out that two other families in addition to us have been selected for the boys staffing! The staffing is July 12th. I am a nervous wreck because I really really want to adopt these boys. They have been in the same foster home for 3 years but foster mom doesn't want to adopt. Until last week, we were the only family! For those of you that have went through staffings, what can we expect? I have my life book ready to take with me and a page of it is dedicated to the boys. Any thoughts, advice, or help greatly appreciated!!
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I don't know! That is why I need advice!! I have the last page of the lifebook with their names on the top and a nice poem about hoping to adopt them. I want to show the staffing team how serious we are and I thought I would say, even if we are not picked they have touched our lives and will always be a part of our lives. Or I could take that page out. I am not sure what to do but I want them to know how dedicated we are. They already know we got licensed in order to adopt these boys.
I am from Missouri also and have been through a few staffings, as both foster parent and adoptive parent. Do you personally know these boys already? That may be an advantage in the staffing as they may choose a family the boys already know. If you don't know them, just know OF them, that may not necessarily be an advantage. I don't see anything wrong with having a page dedicated to the boys at the end of your lifebook. As you said, it shows your dedication and excitement about adding the boys to your family.
At the staffing, the team will ask you a series of standard questions. Each family will be asked the same questions. Just answer them honestly. At the end of the interview, the team normally asks you if you have any questions for them. The team will then decide which family they feel is the best fit for the boys.
Good luck in your staffing!
Thanks!! The staffing team really enjoyed seeing my lifebook and the pictures of the boys that we were hoping for!! I put pictures of their room and bathroom next to them. We had a large staffing with the boy's counselor, Juvenile Officer, Community Specialist, Case Worker, Supervisor of our Agency, Attorney, and the Foster Mom. We were very excited and told them that we did the entire process for these boys. They have been with Foster Mom almost three years and no other families had came forward besides us until the staffing was set then there were two other families. The boy's attorney said we were an awesome family and that they thought we would be a good home for any child so that made us feel good. They told us we would know in a week and that was on the 12th.....
They called us back on Friday and told us we were not selected. The boy's are starting to show signs of sexual abuse and they thought it wouldn't be safe with our three young children in the home. They picked one of the other families which I think will be a good fit for them. I am disappointed but I know it is in the best interest of everyone. Our search continues to find other children to adopt. I am trying to talk my hubby into fostering some too but right now we are looking at foster to adopt only.
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