From One Mother to Another . . .

I originally posted this request under the 'reunion' section, but I think it really should be here instead. The good people here on these forums have helped me work through the complex emotions of adoption reunion. I am in reunion with my 35 y.o. daughter for one month now. Of course, it is an astounding experience I never thought would come my way. My feet have not touched the ground since that first contact letter. T has set up a lunch date for her two moms to meet for the first time. Boy am I nervous! In an attempt to relieve the anxiety, I thought I would write her a letter. Think it would be best to give it to her before, during, or after we meet? No matter where you are in the Reunion process, if you have suggestions or comments, please share. Here it is: A few weeks ago, I laid my eyes for the very first time on T. She is a confident and happy, bright and polished amazing young woman. And you did that. It is immediately obvious that T was raised in a home where there was love and lots of it. Of course there are things I am wondering about. Such general questions like: did you and your husband wait long? would you like to share the story of how you got the news? did you have anxiety that someone would take her back? is T named after anyone special? While I think the answers to those questions would be interesting, more importantly, I have something I want to share with you. The joy I never knew but now carry every day is because you made it safe for T to begin searching. I admire the courage it took for you to do that for her and understand your only motivation was your love for her. The journey of discovery continues. I realize during these last few months that I have been limping through my entire life with a hole in my heart. I could die tomorrow and would go with peace in my heart. The pain of giving her away has eased because I have given myself permission to acknowledge it. Before receiving the letter from the agency, I think my survival instinct told me that if I let that pain out, I might not recover. Maybe our paths were not ideal and maybe they were not traditional and maybe they were not what we would have chosen. We made the best choices we could given our individual circumstances. I had a baby, you and your husband had a home. Just as our lives have forever joined to make a life for T, I hope we can once again join together to provide whatever she needs in the future. Please know I am not a threat and would never come between you and T in any way. I am just one more person to love her, and you can never have too many of them. I am looking forward to meeting the only other person in this world who could possibly love her as much as I do. I certainly do not mean to make this about me. I just wanted you to know that because you made it safe for T to begin searching, you allowed me to heal. Thank you.