questions

I'm sure this must be and has been very hard for you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but IMO the child should have been adopted by those who are raising him long ago. From what you say, these folks are NOT "tricking" your daughter out of anything. If anything, they've given her far too many years already. The sad truth is that your daughter's illness took her away from your grandson long ago. He, on the other hand, has gone ahead and lived and grown in the life he has, which does not include her as a parenting mother. If she cannot parent him and essentially never has, I don't think she should try to hang on as his legal mother. I think it would be cruel to deny him what he so clearly needs now. He needs permanency and legal security. At age 7, for healthy development, he needs to know he has that with his family. When children are in foster care, the parents have just 15 months to reform to the point where they can parent safely before federal law says that the agency must at least petition to terminate rights. That law is meant to safeguard the children by addressing their fundamental rights and need for safety and permanency. That your grandson has already had to live seven years in limbo is really sad. This is a gift she can give him--the freedom to live the life in which he has already grown. If she does not, then his grandparents will have to petition to terminate her rights. Based on PA law (see below), I would guess that they would win, but it would be costly and stressful for them and, consequently, of course, him too. I'd also have to guess that it would put a pretty big damper on any ideas for contact or visitation in the future. See some of the laws visit child welfare site. Please remember that it is not about whether your daughter is good or bad or deserving or not. She is ill and unable to parent her son. He is now rooted and bonded in a different life and has been for a long time. Like any child, he deserves to have that life protected by the law. I hope your daughter gets better and that she is able to have some kind of relationship with him that affirms her love for him.

i thank you for your opinion as everyone is entitled to one...my daughter IS better and regardless of what she decides to do i will stand behind her. i believe at 11 years old next month he has a voice in this so we will go from there.

I understand that she may be better now, but that is not the point. The point is that he has not been waiting for her. He has gone ahead and grown up in a different life, a life to which he now belongs and has a need and in most states a right to keep. Why would she want to disrupt that even if she were willing and able to parent now? It wasn't clear that he was 11. It sounded as if he was 7. In many states, children at 12 and older do have a say. As I said, I hope that this can be handled in a way in which both families can continue a good relationship for his sake.