obessions

Wish I could offer advice... we are dealing with this with balloons (yes, balloons) right now. My son cannot function in the same house with a balloon. It is something to behold. Hugs.... I understand.

Athikers,, Thank GOD you don't live at the circus! :banana: You would never be able to make it. I got some good ideas from a forum on facebook that I am going to try out. Thanks for chiming in though!!

I am an autism therapist so I understand your frustration. Many individuals with autism like video games because of the predictability of them, unfortunately because they can be come obsessed over different things it can become a struggle. I have a rule during my sessions that there are no video games however there are a few exceptions. I have used count down timers 5 fingers (equals 5 mins or something consistent) once they are done they have certain things they must accomplish before they get more. At night unfortunately there is no way to stop them from playing unless you are able to stay awake and monitor it all which we all know is not likely. Getting to the root of the anxiety can help. It could be they are afraid they may wet the bed, they don't want to go to school, or its a transition. Once you find the root of anxiety you can give them coping strategies. If it is transitions start with just stating how you are going to get through a transition an eventually they will catch on. Maybe they just don't have any other ideas. If it is during waking hours try and use the count down an there will be a melt down but just work through it. Then give an few other options of what they could do. Write a video game based story, have a water fight, play a board game, etc. Hope fully some of this may help you if not private message me and I can try to give more specific ideas.

AranciaRhapsody, thanks for your info. I never thought of the basis of the video games could be related to anxiety. He does have huge anxiety issues. He also has PTSD/trauma issues that are now being dealt with. Unfortunately, the trauma therapy isn't as often as he needs it and he is moving thru it pretty quickly and today took off out the bedroom window and was found in town after he stole something from the grocery store. I sensed this was coming after the last therapy session but not to this extent. The anxiety hugely affects his sleep and he is not sleeping well or at all sometimes. And actually it is the waking hours of video games that is not so bad UNLESS I am telling him he is down and it is close to bedtime. I am going to PM you because I have so many more questions. This has been very enlightening and not something I had thought of before. Thanks so much! :D

Until you figure that out perhaps you can use something with a combination lock. Then you don't have a key to hide. We have found that you can just hide the cord and not have to hide the games. (depending on the system and making sure the cord is not one that they can take a cord off of something else.) My husband figured that out. When my son (aspergers) was grounded from video games. A few times when he was grounded my husband just took the whole system to his office. Other times we took cords into our room at night or if I had to leave them with a babysitter I either took the cords with me or I would lock them in a box with a combination lock on it. Mostly though we used my husband's office.

I looked at it several ways. One: the video game is constantly stimulating the brain, giving the sensation that one is "doing something" -- when actually, one is not. Perfect for the ADHD type "I'm doing, doing, moving, moving"... but actually one is nearly stock-still. So for that reason, I don't care for them.Two, for children with "issues". Trauma, for instance, or difficult childhoods, that tends to put you in your "limbic brain". The part that is basic instincts only. That tends to mean you spend less time in the "mammalian" brain and the "human" (thinking) brain, so those brains get less wired up. Fewer connections/neurons within them, fewer connections between the 3 brains. Too many in the limbic or reptilian brain. Video games put people into their limbic brains, and leave them stuck there. You said PTSD/trauma -- both those mean the child has spent too much time in the limbic (primitive / reptilian) brain. So for me, for the child who's already spent too much time there, has a huge job to wire up and learn to relate to other people and the environment using the mid-brain and human brain. Spending any more time in the reptilian brain is to be avoided as much as possible. This is based on brain science, educational research, etc.The games are addictive. Just try to get someone to quit them before they're "ready" -- and how many hours is that going to be? Anyone with an addictive personality -- and if our kids had 1 parent with addictions, they've a 25% chance of addictive biology, if 2 parents with additions, 50% chance -- is going to have a tough time quitting these. If the child is video-gaming, they're not helping their brains, not learning social skills, they're not outside, etc. -- they're just "on hold".So I don't have them in my home. I also don't have a TV, same reasoning. "Oops, I forgot to get video games or a TV!" "On the other hand, you won't believe how fun life is in this house." -- really, it is. This prevents a lot of arguments, and would prevent the searching for games, there are none to be found.Asperger's / gifted are often pretty similar, and co-exist. Both Asperger's and gifted individuals tend to have a lot of sensitivities, allergies, sensitivities to food dyes, chemicals, etc. Perhaps even allergic to sugar. All of that is tough to self-manage as an adult (how would I know?) -- much less for a child of 9, with trauma, etc. What food did he steal? It may very well be something he's allergic to. I was able to get a handle on not eating foods I was allergic to in my mid-20s, by applying an article I read, which stated that if you craved something intensely, you might be allergic to it, and you needed to treat that like an addiction. That helped me, knowing that I needed to avoid sugar the way an alcoholic avoided alcohol, if I was to have a decent life.Sugar, how do I explain. If you're the speedy ADHD type (I am), it gives you a great high and enables you to feel MORE SPEED. VERY FUN. Till your brain dissolves into mush... which for me takes about 3 days of sugar/ HCFC. Basically your metabolism pushes you to want more more more speed... so sugar is GREAT, so desirable! But it takes a toll. ADHD types are already going fast enough, we don't need anything to get us going faster. Not possible for us to slow down with sugar in our bodies.Anyway, was going to suggest checking out [url=http://www.feingold.org]The Feingold Diet Program for ADHD[/url] . He might be sensitive to some/many things in foods. Read some of the success stories. Even if he doesn't 100% fit this profile, here's a sample story. Because of my sensitivities, I have only natural foods in my home. The last foster child I had in my home was 14. His SW came to see him after about 10 days -2 wks, and said, "You look so healthy! It's amazing! What are you doing?" I said nothing -- it was my food. He was on spring break, so had not been eating junk food at school, or stealing it in stores on the way home. I'm positive that child was fetal alcohol, very low IQ, very placid, moved at pace of a glacier. Yet, even with that profile, very different than Asperger's, he was truly changed by eating natural foods, dropping chemicals and sugar out of his diet.Just some food for thought about brains and food, hope something here was helpful.

I guess I don't get it. If the obsession is causing negative outcomes (stealing, rule breaking), why keep the video game? If something causes an unhealthy obsession with LG that results in negative outcomes....and its not something nailed down or vital for life, it goes in the trash...then when he can handle it, I get another.

I have a son with aspergers that also loves video games. Tell him you can't wait for him to play games! (crazy I know....)Tell him if you read for one hour than you can play games for one hour. Trade equal amounts of time. Also do an hour per hour chart for behavior. At the end of the week if he has acumulated x number of points he can play until his heart is content!

I also have an aspergers kid. I thought about getting rid of all screen things (games, tv, etc) but they are also his "currency" nothing else worked as well to motivate him to do things he did not want to do, so we had a limited amount and we monitored them carefully. I also want to mention that as a kid my mom put us on fiengold. I would not suggest doing this unless you see a big difference, because it makes a kid feel very different. I could not eat school lunch, I could not eat cupcakes that someone brought in for a birthday, I could not have treats at parties, etc. It made me feel different and self conscious and it made me crave the forbidden foods more. With my kids, I allowed junk food in moderation as a treat and they are able to handle it well. They don't seem to crave it like I did and they have fewer social issues than I did. Aspergers kids usually have enough social issues, you don't want to add one more way to make them different than everyone else unless you need to. I yhave one brother who did react badly to certain colors in foods. This was the reason my mom put all of us on the diet. Later she realized it was easier to just keep him away from those foods that he did react to, than to try to keep all of us away from all the foods the diet forbid. She admitted later that the rest of us (7 kids in the family) actually behaved worse on the diet because we were miserable.

Ladyjubilee -- the problem is that it wouldn't be "his" video game that I got rid of as he takes everyone's games. I don't think it is fair to punish all because of what he does. ambergaskill --- I like that idea and have tried a variation of it. I might need to do the chart again and see if that works. There is something to the anxiety thing because he does not want to sleep so by playing video games he is able to avoid that. I am hoping that therapy will help to keep him moving thru and when the sleep issue is resolved that will help some of the others. momraine --- it is his currency though I seemed to have stumbled on another one -- he loves to play the dvd game "So you think you are smarter than a 5th grader". I think it might be because it is a game that he has to manipulate with the TV remote. He has this need to always have something in his hands. thanks for the ideas all!

Stealing and hoarding is a sign of a sever attachment problem and is likely complicated by the Aspergers but may not be caused by it. Children who are too fearful to attach to people may form attachments with objects because those objects will never abandon them. Sometimes they can be personal items like the mothers clothing because there is a maternal theme attached to the object. They hide them and collect them because they fear losing them which can trigger their memories of loss. Instead of letting your blood pressure go up which tells me you are making a moral judgement(its wrong to steal) and likely punish him for stealing which he cant understand. This just makes him want to do it more. Address the process thats going on inside him. He needs to feel connected, attached to you so help him aquire that sense of secure connection. He doesnt steal to aquire an object he steals to feel connected. Thats not immoral or bad and should not be punished. Talk to him about what he is feeling, validate his feelings, show him connection to you is better then connection to an object. Thats what he really wants. Ask him are you feeling alone? Tell him its OK to feel that way. Be in the moment with him and share his sense of isolation. Be patient. He isnt bad just alone. Adopted children can feel alone even when in the presense of loved ones. Its what they feel not what they know. You have to feel along with him.