Books on ASD & Attachment Disorder?

Sounds to me like you already have the autistic/aspie spectrum covered, like you know quite a bit about it. I'd look into books on attachment disorder and PTSD -- often concurrent. Both describe kids who're traumatized. There is a biological trauma cycle which can be triggered and re-triggered. Understanding that helps tremendously.You sound like someone really capable of absorbing new info and putting it into practice. I had a child in my home who was not autistic/aspie, but PTSD, RAD, etc. From trying to learn how to handle that, I started reading, and kept it up 2-3 years. My view of the world is changed, to say the least, same for my view of why traumatized children do some of the things they do. (Try Amazon for these titles.)The first book I read was "Attachment, Trauma and Resilience" by Kate Cairns. She's British, she and hubby had 3 bios, adopted or fostered long term 15. Her book vividly paints the picture of what it's like to live with these children, how trauma, lack of trust, affects them. The book has actual charts of what to do to heal various damaged aspects of children. Go figure, actual advice. Beyond excellent."Don't Touch My Heart: Healing the Pain of an Unattached Child" by Lynda Mansfield & Christopher H. Waldmann, describes one little boy who's RAD. It includes scenes from his past, which help understand how he got the way he is. Excellent, short, easy to read, not technical. Trials and pain of family who adopts him, before finding help. When I remember that message, "Don't Touch My Heart!" -- much of the behavior being thrown at me -- which is caused by lack of attachment -- makes more sense.Anything by Peter A. Levine about trauma is great, fabulous. Might start here: "Trauma Through a Child's Eyes: Awakening the Ordinary Miracle of Healing". Isn't the title fabulous??You mention "extinguishing behaviors". I've read a ton about autism, and taken 23 days of intensive classes with the HANDLE institute on autism. We didn't use those words, but I believe I grasp the concept. The number one issue with attachment, is fear of abandonment. You extinguish that by being present for the child. Constantly, without ceasing, with humor, with caring, for a *very* long time. The child has made a decision that EVERYONE will ALWAYS abandon him/her, so why bother to try to care about anyone? Thus they have 1001 behaviors designed to push you away. They are usually *masters* at behavior to push us away. They are annoying, etc. -- and that's the time to pull them closer. It's called "time in" vs "time out" parenting. If this child needs a "time out" it is in *the same room*. Do not isolate a child with attachment issues in their room, it reinforces their belief that they're not worthy of loving -- and if you can make this leap, also reinforces their sense that they HAVE to be in charge of everything. After all, if no one cares for them, they are the only ones who will be in charge of themselves. And frankly, often they've BEEN in charge, because the adults in their lives weren't parenting. SWs have told me they've seen 6-month-old children in charge of their parents, I hope I never see it, but by 2, 3, yes, I've seen it.Saw another post of yours saying that you had progress, congratulations! Sounds like you're being constantly present for this little fellow, which is perfect. Trust will grow from that. Thought you might like some book recs anyway. Best of success to you![edited for clarity]