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I am not new to this website, but I am a new member. I have just reached a point where I need some support.
We have been through 5+ years of trying to have a child. Fertility all ended in disappointment. Never even a glimmer of hope or success. So about a year ago we started the domestic private adoption journey. 3 weeks ago, we finally were contacted by a birthmom. Everything was ok, not great, but ok. Well to make a long story short we are discontinuing the adoption. There are too many risks with her situation and we have no trust in her regarding anything including being confident that she will allow us to parent. She has drug issues, she and her boyfriend are FEARED in their neighborhood. She lied to us about so many things.
I can not believe this. I guess I never thought that I would be the one to make this decision. It is not the baby's fault, so why can I not move forward with her??? My heart is physically breaking in half. Someone please tell me this has happened to you. Am I making a mistake?
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We have struggled with infertility for years. My husband and I decided to be foster parents and adopted our daughter last year (she's 10) thru foster care so I've not had to deal directly with a birth mother for a newborn, however, after reading your post I can honestly say you are following your gut feelings. I know it is painful because you want a baby so bad but I'm sure it would be even more devastating to go thru the process and then the birth mom change her mind at the last minute. There are alot of women out there who scam potential birth parents. If it doesn't feel right, I woudn't do it either. God will bring the right baby to your family. Hang in there!! :)
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I'm sorry you're going through this. We felt we had to turn down the first placement we were offered because of so many red flags and questionable issues. I remember thinking "I can't believe we're doing this when we want a baby so badly." It was the right move, though, as I'm sure your choice, as well. Hang in there - and your baby (or, as in our case, babies) will find you!