Need advice on how to interact in (complicated) Open Adoption

My situation is complicated, but briefly the outline is this: Seven years ago, a childhood friend was pregnant and in trouble with DHS. Baby was not going to be coming home with her due to multiple safety risks. I was asked by a family member of hers to consider an open adoption. I was single, very young (19) and had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted to help and loved children very much. Met with social workers that explained to me that I needed an attorney, parental relinquishment, etc. at the hospital in order to avoid them taking custody of the baby. I did retain an attorney and he presented the idea of permanent guardianship signed by the court while my adoption homestudy was completed. Baby girl was born and I became the legal guardian the next day. I fell in love with that curly haired angel the moment I laid eyes on her as she was being born. Biological mother wanted nothing to do with care or feeding, but was anxious for pictures and the open adoption agreement we agreed to ~ visits twice a year, photos monthly. To make a very long story short, we did a visit just a few days later, and pictures followed, but soon things did not go well. Mom was having lots of issues with drug usage and we specified that she needed to be clean when visiting, contact needed to be made in advance, etc. She became angry with us and said she would just choose someone else to adopt the baby. This was about six months into the situation. I thought that was just an idle threat. Nothing was further than the truth. Two months later, we had stopped sending pictures due to a kidnapping attempt which she admitted to setting up. Shortly after, my attorney was served papers demanding custody back of the child and relinquishment to a new adoptive family. The next four months were a nightmarish court battle, with the bio mom dragging me into court saying that she had been forced to sign relinquishment papers under fraud, I had kidnapped her child and was abusing her. These were all proved to be false, but powered by money from the newly chosen adoptive parents, the court battle pressed on. Finally, just before baby girl's 1st birthday, a judge declared that although his ruling was not in the best interest of the child, the bio mom won on a technicality of when the relinquishment had been signed and she did have the right to change her mind. However, despite this ruling, the court recognized that as an adoptive parent who had breastfed this baby, I was the sociological parent. Therefore, he ordered an open adoption between me and the adoptive parents. It was extremely painful to let go of the baby I intended to adopt and viewed as my daughter. I had named her, breastfed, cuddled, loved, she was the light of my life. By the way, even though I was only twenty, I owned a home and had a stable job and was in no way considered an unfit parent. If you've made it this far with me, I'm amazed. But this is the background to my question. Fast forward six years. I have kept in contact with the parents, sent gifts on birthdays and Christmas, letters, etc. They live quite far away, but my parents have visited her twice. Her parents have accepted them as grandparents. She is now wanting personal contact herself. This is where I am needing input from those who have been in her shoes. Who am I to her? She has been asking her mom, telling her she remembers me, etc. I am obviously not her birth mom, my daughter is not her sister, etc. She is asking a lot of questions on how she got adopted and her adoptive mom is frustrated about the whole thing. She has had a rough time bonding with her and her take is that well, it's more people to love you, but it is obvious that she also feels threatened by me. I love this child more than I can express and want to support her attachment to her parents as this is the healthiest thing for her. I also do love being in contact. I know I'm not the birth mom, but I still feel the pain of the loss. If you were this child, what would you want in an open adoption? What would be important to you? Would you feel like you were between a tug-of-war situation? I've learned so much from these forums (I've been lurking for over ten years!), thank you in advance for responding!