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We're prematched for a emom due in a couple of months. We meet with her and edad about once a month. Every time we meet with them, we find out about a habit she has or a decision they have made that isn't really in the best interest of the baby. A couple of which they have not been completely honest about. Others have obviously been funded by us, since we are paying expenses.
I know that this is par for the course, but it's so tough. They are adults, and we can't tell them what to do. After a last few meetings, I have come away feeling so stressed. After the last one, the thought of backing out actually popped into my mind, but we're already about $5000 involved between eparent expenses and agency fees, plus another $2000 for homestudy, but that can always be used again.
I feel myself pulling away. There's really nothing we can do to change their behavior, so wouldn't it be easier just not to know? And of course, there is always the constant fear that they choose to parent after all of this. I just feel so disheartened today. Thanks for listening.
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I knew our babies bmom for only 7 weeks prior to delivery and she too made bad choices for her and our baby and much of the money that we spent for her exspenses was used other wise. In fact, her nor the boyfriend worked and she and our bay both tested positive for drugs at delivery.....guess who must have paid for that???
Anyways, I said all that to say this...It was SO worth it!! Our CW told me to spend as much time with the bmom as possible before birth and I did. It was so hard and there were days that I wasn't sure I could do it any longer, but in return I not only got the most precisious thing a human can give to anoher, but I got to be in the room as she brought our daughter into this world!! Please be incouraged and know that if it all works out it is worth ever dought, every fear and every ounce of anxiety involved :)
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