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At 27 years old, I found out I was adopted through a drunk uncle during thanksgiving dinner. I was told that I am illegally adopted from Haiti and although my parents are Haitian and I seemed to "fit in" the family, I've always felt I wasn't a part of the family. I always felt somehow I was different. Although my suspicions have been confirmed, I haven't come to terms with the pain of being adopted. Can anyone recommend books or support groups? Can anoyone share how they are coping with their adoption?
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Hi, I just found out yesterday. I have yet to confront my parents. I found this website and believe reading the experiences from other people are helping me come to terms with it. At the moment I'm still very confused and a little numb. I have only told my partner and he was amazing. Telling has helped me greatly because it feels a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but I know that it will truly lift when I finally ask my parents the truth. I have to wait though, cuz my father is overseas at the moment and I don't feel it appropriate to ask him over email. My mother is too emotionally unstable to ask her on her own.
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Domo:
Finding out as an adult is a shock and it's not something that most people would understand. I will say that talking about it helps, whether it be with your adoptive family, a friend,or even go to your church and tell the priest in a confessional--anonymity helps and the confessor on the other side of the curtain can sometimes help with counseling resources and maybe some spiritual advice.
Tell yourself tht instead of looking at it like you weren't wanted, look at it from the viewpoint that your doptive family wanted you, CHOSE you. People out there with natual children didn't choose them--they may have chosen to have them but that saying 'you can choose your friends but not your relatives' applies--uness you were adopted. You are special because your family chose you, and if you're Christian you can maybe take a little comfort in the fact that the Bible says God doesn't make mistakes--so right there, right now, you're exactly where you are meant to be.