Saskatchewan foster care adoptions

October 28, 2011

I am looking for information about adopting through foster care in Saskatchewan, and/or adopting via US foster care system.

Does anyone have any experiences they could share with us on SK adoptions from foster care, or foster care in general? Information on training, subsidies, experiences meeting kids from foster care for adoption, what sort of religious affiliations/expectations they expect (I'm an atheist, husband-to-be is Lutheran)??

Mainly interested in adoption from foster care because I know the costs of international adoption are many. Mostly looking at 3-12 age group, but I might be interested in adopting domestically from birth (semi open or fully open if circumstances permit). I couldn't handle medically needy kids or those with severe issues (Severe RAD or FASD, ODD). Am I restricting myself too much?

No restrictions on age although I think a 15 year old might consider me more a "Big sister" than a Mom since I'm only 29 :) The US seems to have a lot of photolistings etc, but Canada has almost nothing, especially for SK. Sigh.

Any experiences, tips, suggestions to share??

BabsCanada

October 31, 2011

There are probably others with more recent experience, but I wanted to offer what I could :)

We first contacted Social Services in 1994 and what I remember most about the beginning was the realms of lengthy questionnaires, which actually led to us evaluating ourselves and our reasons for wanting to adopt and what we expected and what we hoped ... a lot of soul searching and fear. Social Services staff were excellent, very easy to talk to, very helpful, and they had some meetings with groups of other hopeful parents and adoptive parents that were very insightful.

The questionnaires included many questions that troubled me, in that we had to state what we would accept, beyond male/female preference ... it felt awful to say we would not accept severe health issues, physical or mental; I was like you and knew I couldn't handle some situations, and so we were absolutely honest about that and while I feared we should have no right to refuse any child (after all, if I had become pregnant, I wouldn't be able to pick and choose). Above all though, honesty is the best policy.

There were also options for choosing race and age ... we were open to all, though we hoped for an infant or very young child; we were open to any race, though we were told that native children did not go to white families. That turned out to be untrue.

Our profile and our 'dear birthmother' letter were put together with assistance from our Social Services worker; again, all efforts very honest and heartfelt. There was a home visit, which I feared because I though maybe we wouldn't measure up to some standard (we weren't wealthy, our house wasn't perfect, we had a pair of rambunctious dogs) but all went well.

And then we waited ... we were told to expect a 2 to 10 year wait ... that was tough ... I remember that one set of adoptive parents in our meetings had just adopted for a second time ... it seemed unfair! It is all very emotional.

We received a call in 1997 (just after Mother's Day!) that we had been chosen to parent a baby girl born in 1996. The birthmom had initially chosen our profile but changed her mind at birth. We were not informed of this at the time (thus the 30 day revocation period is actually a blessing for all!)

We received photos of the baby girl and three days later we were on our way north to meet her, the birthmother, and the foster mother (the 30 day revocation period was served while baby was in foster care). Nerve-wracking, yes, but again, SS was very helpful - both our worker and the birthmom's worker. This initial meeting went well. We'd had to choose a name for the baby before we went; birthmom supported our chosen names, but said she'd hoped we'd keep one of the names she had chosen, and so we did :) There were tears all around, and a scary moment when our worker said to us in private "I think she will relinquish to you" ... I didn't know there was still any question? I thought of our family waiting at home, the bedroom newly readied for baby, the leave of absence from work already in place ... But 24 hours later (foster mom had requested / was granted more time to have us acclimate to baby's needs), we were on our way home with a baby in the car seat :)

There was a home visit 30 days later, and then the court date which granted the adoption. Everything went smoothly.

I won't overload you with any details of our lives since, but only that we all agreed to an open adoption and so we have visited back and forth occasionally with birthmother and kept in close contact (mail, photos, e-mail, on-line chat). We were invited to and went to her wedding some 18 months later. We are extended family, but with no rules or requirements. It is all good!

I wish you the best in this journey and I would answer any questions that I can - good luck!