How should I answer the question - are they Jewish?

One solution might be: "Thanks for asking, however, I'm here to talk about the other aspects of adoption, everything but religion Thanks for your help with that." Then have a couple of adoption-related facts or stories to switch the topic to immediately. eta: Also, if the school has a counselor, you might ask them for help with wording.

Say he was not born with Jewish ancestry but is being raised Jewish. Find other prominent figures who were similar. And if you are interested many adoptees in the 50's, 60's, and 70's who were adopted into Jewish familes and whose families were told by their trusty adoption agencies that they were Jewish - weren't they just changed the religion on the paperwork. Kind regards,Dickons

Actually, with 4 sons myself, I would simply NOT going into specifics of your sons' story AT ALL with his peers. I would talk about adoption generally, I would tell specific stories of adoption using books or pictures, I would talk about adoption from a Jewish perspective (about formal conversion etc) BUT for your son's sake and his privacy, I would NOT discuss his specific story. It is none of their business and he deserves that respect.Jen

That question could be an opportunity to talk about privacy, and that any person;s story is theirs to share, not yours, and adoption doesn't change that. You may find it doesn't actually come up, or at least not as much as it might, because these kids already know your son. I think if it was me I would shy away from sharing any of my son;s story in that context, or at least talk with him about what he is comfortable with me sharing, and also talk with him about how he can respond if other kids then ask those questions.

He's 9. If you are going into the class to talk about adoption, you should be focusing on adoption in general - not his personal story. The personal questions the kids might ask are your son's to answer - if he chooses. My suggestion would be to make sure your son is equipped with the tools he needs to decide how, when, and whether or not he wants to answer personal questions.

The various branches of Judaism will answer that question differently. Orthodox Jews will insist that your son is not Jewish, as he was not born to a Jewish mother, did not go through brit milah/hatafat dam brit, did not have an Orthodox conversion, and does not live in an Orthodox home. Conservative Jews will also say that your son is not Jewish, because he did not go through circumcision or hatafat dam brit (a ceremony for a person who was already circumcised non-ritually, but needs the ritual for conversion purposes), and did not have a conversion ceremony. Conservative Jews accept conversions in non-Orthodox mikvaot, and some communities actually have a mikvah that is under Conservative supervision, as mine does; my daughter was converted in it. Reform customs vary. In general, Reform rabbis feel that brit milah (circumcision) is important for a male Jew, although they do not generally require hatafat dam brit for males who were already circumcised non-ritually. Many Reform rabbis say that a person is Jewish if he/she was born to a Jewish mother OR father, although some still adhere to the traditional belief that Jewishness is transmitted by the mother. And the community is divided in terms of whether an actual conversion is necessary if an adopted child is being raised by parents who consider themselves Jewish, regardless of their level of practice. Some rabbis encourage mikvah immersion, while others do not. And some rabbis have taken a middle ground. They say that a person is Jewish if he/she lives as a Jew, but recommend that, if there is no conversion ceremony, a ritual immersion in a mikvah should be undertaken at the time of bar/bat mitzvah, as a way of affirming commitment to Judaism. One of my daughter's friends had this commitment ceremony, and both her mother and sister affirmed their commitment at the same time. Sharon

To add to my previous post, I suspect that you are going to be talking to a Jewish day school class or a Sunday school class. I doubt that religion would come up as much in the general public school class. If the religious school is pluralistic, and even if it isn't, it's a great opportunity to talk about how the main branches of Judaism handle a variety of lifecycle events -- births, adoptions, marriages, divorces, deaths, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, etc. This can be done without calling attention to a particular child. Also, the question of "Is he Jewish?" is not as likely to come up if your child is White as if he is non-White. Unfortunately, there is a common misperception that all Jews are White. It is actually a great opportunity to talk about the fact that Jews come in all colors and are found in many countries. At my daughter's former Jewish day school, we had children from Ethiopia and Eritrea, who are Black, but whose biological families were Jewish. We also had some kids with Black appearance who had one White parent and one American Black parent. We also had Asian and Hispanic children, usually, but not always, the product of either intermarriage or adoption. Sharon

I would ask your son how he wants you to answer that or if he wants you to answer it at all. I don't think you have to go in depth at all about it. Yes, he is Jewish. They do not need to know the intricate details about his birth history or lack of circumcision, etc. That's not important in that setting.What Jewish law says may matter later when he gets married but it may not, depending on his future spouse and the rabbi, etc. But for everyone else, yes, he is Jewish.My son was converted and had a circumcision and I consider him Jewish and he considers himself Jewish. I know the technical details are different, but I would not worry about that for the class.And just for the record, my son "quit" Hanukah this year in favor of Christmas. (I didn't go along with it though) :)

I'd imagine you'd get much tougher questions than "is he Jewish". I'd be more worried about "why didn't his parents want him" type questions. FYI - you don't always have to have a circumcism to complete a conversion. In some instances where a child cannot be circumcised, a finger prick to allow a bloodletting is enough. Check with your Rabbi.

I agree with you, Jen.

I agree with you. I would not disclose any details. Unless it's a very close friend I would not talk any details. In my daughter's school there was never any conversations whether she is Jewish or not. When I talked to her best friend's parents who know that my husband and me are Jewish, I said this: "Natasha was not born in the Jewish family, but we are her parents now and raising her as Jewish, so she is Jewish".