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I knew my maternal grandfather (Grandpa Kelly) for two years before he died & spoke at a euology for the first time then as I read a poem I wrote of him & it was the first time I experienced those "mixed emotions" that come up when coping with death of a biological family member (as I loved him but didn't know him but 2 years but then thankful I had those 2 years with him and felt close to him during that time). And a few years later, my paternal grandmother (Grandma Williams) died after knowing her several years. And this past year, my biological mother was diagnosed & fought Breast Cancer (stage 3) & is in remission at this time. And my biological father had life-threatening surgeries as he has congestive heart failure and was doing okay for awhile but is having complications lately (has blood clot, and so on). And although I volunteer-teach Grief Recovery (and haev since Feb 2009), I fear losing each of them. My bio. parents never married each other and each has very loving, supportive spouse. Since I lost my adoptive parents (they both died in 2008) & I spend alot of time with my bio Mom (we live 10 minute drive apart past few years now), I think when the time comes, it will be major adjustment (change of life), but I continue to pray & hope for the best and appreciate every moment I have with each of my bio. parents. I just know now after going thru mixed emotions after my bio grandparents' deaths, that it may be even more extreme whenever the time does come that I lose my bio parents, but I pray that's not for a very long time.
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