Advice needed please

How much heartbreak can you withstand? Unless you do straight adoption, it is possible you will reunify a few children before finding your forever child. I have friends that did straight adoption and just finalized on a 3 and 1 yr old (placed at 2 and at birth). I started as straight foster but am getting ready to finalize on 2 girls that broke my heart when I had to RU them but RU failed and I agreed to adopt! They were 2 and 3 when they were placed but when we finalize they will be 7 and 6!

thank you! I am having a hard time right now because I really need to talk about this kind of thing with someone. My husband is totally on board for adoption but he doesnt want to think about any new gigantic life changes until the holiday season has passed! so I have a head swarming with questions and no one to talk to :) I would prefer straight adoption but it seems like most stuff I read is saying that its pretty hard to find a child under 3 without just being their primary FP right out of the gate. We really would like for our daughter to be the eldest. And I am desperate for a sibling for her. she wants SO badly to be a sister. she seriously goes up to any random child we see when we're out and gives them a big hug and says " Hi friend!" I am assuming this will probably take at very least a year before they even match us. What is the likelyhood of finding a pair of siblings in our age range?

At the beginning of this year, we got 2 siblings under age 2 and it was foster-to-adopt. We were told in 6 months we would be able to adopt them. Both parents were in jail and looking at min 15 years. At the 6 month mark, the goal was adoption. Then weird things started to happen. The birth parents told on their druggy friends and got out of jail. Our adoption was cancelled and we were heartbroken. Adopting through state foster care is never certain. Be prepared for heartbreak and the unexpected.

Not sure if you've considered international adoption, but I've been to an orphanage full of little ones with outstretched arms crying, "mama". For years we were among those who thought it was too expensive/difficult, but it ended up being very doable once we made the decision to go for it. We adopted 3 littles ages 3, 2, and 9 mos. Then ended up returning the next year and bringing home a 3 and 5 y/o. My once-skeptical husband will tell anyone it's the best decision we ever made! We found our children on Reeces Rainbow.org, and they helped us every step of the way. Our kids have various special needs, but I don't see them that way at all, they're just beautiful, loving, and very well-attached kids. You can check out our adoption stories on my blog whitesadoptionjourney.blogspot.com I'm not telling you what to do, just sharing what worked for us. It's just something to think about, especially if you have your heart set on a little one.Any questions, feel free to pm me! :) Good luck to you!Sherry

Sherry thank you :) I really do feel that my path to adopt through foster care. I just feel strongly pulled in that direction. I know this is going to be very difficult but anything I ever did in my life I did the hard way so I guess I am ready for the challenge set before me. I cant wait! (but I know I will for quite awhile lol)

I too am fairly new to this process. My husband and I have a 7 year old son. We always knew we wanted to adopt but could not afford a private adoption, which also had no guarantee.

After much thought and prayer we too felt pulled to foster care with the focus of adoption. We are with an agency only because a friend of a friend suggested it. We really didn't know what the difference was until we got involved. We listed ourselves within the agency for legal risk 3-5 yrs only.

Long story short....today we are in great hopes of adopting a little girl that was placed with us on May 12th, 2011, she was 5 days old and everything we said we didn't want....lol. We fell in love instantly, our son adores her and as far as he's concerned she is his sister. But we are always made aware that this situation is not a guarantee, today she is 8 1/2 months old and only knows us as her family. CW is sure to remind us that we still have approx. 8-9 more months until our case could go from RU to termination. Frustating is not even close to how we feel at times.

We've also had a little girl (15 months) placed with us in Aug. 2011 and she was recently discharged back to her mom on Jan. 13,2012. To say the least it was heart breaking, I am still trying to wrap my head around a system that is unfortunately very broken.

This process is not for the faint of heart. I pray everyday for all the children in this system. My prayers are for more proactive laws be passed that will help to protect these children from being lost or tossed back into homes that are unsafe.

Where did I go with this...lol! Not sure if I was of any help.

Always loving and praying for reform!