How long is the wait????

Perhaps I am confused but generally of you are looking for a birthmother to choose you, you are talking about a private adoption that would not be handled by the county. If you are looking for a fost/adopt placement then your age range is very restrictive since most children do not move to a fost/adopt placement until 6 to 12 months into their time in foster care. And most of these babies don't move because their current foster family is willing to adopt. You Kay want to consider straight fostering, changing your age range, or accepting that you may wait a long time. Our age range was 0-2 years old and we were told we would wait 2 years. Luckily we didn't, but I think our story is the exception rather than the rule.

We went to a meeting for just "Reliquishment" babies...either the baby was safely surrendered OR the birth mother chose our "Profile" and would like to pick us as the adoptive parents and the reliquishment worker from the County calls us. It's a lot like a private adoption in that sense but it is through the county. I know we have not been waiting long...3 months to be exact...it's just hard and we have our moments of weakness but we are hopeful. We know that the Lord already knows our baby by name and we have faith that we will some day become parents..

Four years ago, I got a relinquishment in a nearby county and waited only 3 months, but I didn't go into it stating I'd only take relinquishments. In fact, I've never heard of the county willing to work with ppl who only would do relinquishments. Like the prev. poster, sounds like private adoption maybe what you should pursue if that is all you want. Anyway, with our relinquishment, as in many others, it was a semi-forced situation. The baby would have gone to foster care but mom relinquished and chose our profile. Just know that the county will probably only give them 3 to pick from. They don't get a whole book like in private adoption. Their choices are limited. Anyway, even through mom signed relinquishment papers, the final adoption still took 9 months to go through. Further, unlike private adoption where they sign their right to change their minds down to 72 hours, there is about a 3 month grey area (time while the State is approving paperwork) where mom could contest it. Further, relatives can chime in at anytime. Our reliquishment worked out, so I hate to paint a doom and gloom picture; it's just that your optimism is killing me -- especially considering that you think God has a baby's name on a kid out there for you. I think it's sin that separates these kids from their mothers, not God. I think God can give you strength, patience, and love as you go through the process of adopting. I believe adopting is a gift we adoptive parents give kids on behalf of God. They are NOT gifts from God to us. We don't earn them. We don't buy them. We simply blessed to have houses and love for them. So be patient. If you are rooting too much for yourself, then you are really rooting for someone else to fail. That's uncool. BTW I just got placed with my 2nd baby -- 2.5 months old from foster care. TPR set for March. No services to parents. If everything goes as planned, he will be adopted at 9 months just like my daughter who was relinquished at birth. I waited 1 yr for this placement, much longer than when we went through this 4 years ago.

We are in Nor. Cal. and have been waiting for two years. We are a fost/adopt family. Our age range is 0-4, up to two kids, race open, drug exposed or addicted at birth okay. Mental health issues in the family, okay. High risk? Heck yes! And we still wait.... At first it was really hard waiting, I was so sure it would happen for us, soon. As time has gone by, it has gotten easier; but I have also gotten more warped and incredibly cynical. We had a straight foster placement, that we took knowing that they would go. It was a good experience and now we are open to more fostering... but the phone just is not ringing. I am not trying to discourage you; just prepare you. You are in a high density population area, so you will likely be placed before us. I have friends who are now having their second and third babies in the time that we have tried to get pregnant and tried to adopt. I am a high school teacher and at least three of my students are visible pregnant and one just had twins. Sometimes it pisses me off, but I realize I am being irrational. This whole wanting to have a baby and having to wait thing is a real rollercoaster. I wish you the best of luck. As for me, I am like a bulldog with a bone. I am NEVER giving up!

I want to say thank you for all of your posts. It took my two years to get on the list to wait. Passed everything October 31st! I got a call/email November 30th... and now I go to the hospital everyday waiting for mylil guy to come home to a foster home. the roller coaster of emotions of anger and disbelief are crazy, but inside I know that my true feelings of what is best for the child preside. I am on a rollercoaster, and yes, the mother wants him... but each day is a blessing, and I trust the process... and maybe one day I will be a forever mom. Painfully, I must admit, this process is more draining than I had expected... and tests my resiliency each day. And I wouldn't give it up for the world :) It's worth it... with love, patience and faith.

Oh, I know how hard the waiting is. Its the worst. We are open from infant to 7 years and still have been waiting for3 months! 3 possibles, all fell through. One was supposed to be a definate and still didnt happen. It wreaks havic on your emotions, for sure. You try to focus on other things, all the while carrying that darn phone every single place you go. Never dreamed the wait would be so long or so hard. Hang in there....and let us know when your day arrives!