Anyone adopted through San Diego County or going through process?

That's a really odd experience. First of all, shouldn't you be talking to your licensing worker about your license (and not your adoptions worker?). I don't recall even having an adoptions worker until we had our license. But even so, your license worker is the one that should be letting you know that your license is active. Our license worker "disappeared" when we were ready for renewal. It took some phone calls (mostly to the duty worker) to get ahold of a supervisor, who got us in touch with someone who could get us renewed. But, we eventually tracked down someone. I would try calling the duty worker, and asking for a supervisor. Worst cast, go on to the HHS Facebook page and pose the question if you have to.

This hasn't been my experience with the county either. Our Foster worker told us we were approved for licensing but we didn't get the physical license until two months later. I'd call the office. It still may take months before you begin your adoption home study. This is simply due to caseload vs staff.

My husband and I are licensed and waiting to adopt. We recently had to renew our foster license. It was at that time that I learned through the Foster Duty Worker that they are completely understaffed. We do not even have a foster care licensing case manager. We were instructed not to send in copies of foster course work since it would "likely get lost." They seemed completely overwhelmed.

We got our license in November 2009. We renewed without any issue in November 2010. In November 2011, I hadn't heard from our social worker, and was starting to get worried. I had to track down a supervisor, who eventually told me that our social worker was "unavailable" for a significant amount of time, and that we'd get a temporary worker assigned our case. We got our licensed renewed without issue. November 2012 (with our son in our care), we called to renew, and were told that because we've checked out fine, and that we had a child in our care, they would just be extending our license without a visit. I agree that they must be overworked and understaffed. I know they are trying their best, though.

Today I met with our worker because I wanted to ask her question regarding the profile book we are doing for adoption. When she showed up to told me she had lots of bad news. I couldn't imagine what would be wrong sense she told me over the phone a couple days earlier everything was good. She told she was moving and we would be re-assigned at the end of the month. Then she said here is the really bad news. As of this year if you only want to do adoptions you case will be closed with in 3 years and you don't get to re-open it. I was in shock my husband & I wanted to adopt a new born and have just went through everything and for our home inspection they told us if we wanted a new born we had to have everything for a new born so we went and bought a crib, car seat, stroller, changing table only to be told now that if we want to stick with trying to get a new born its not going to happen. Can anyone help me understand when did all this start happening.

I'm not sure how long this has been their policy but we were told the same thing. Basically, if they cannot find a child that they think you would be ideal to parent within 3 years then they think that you are not a good match to adopt out of foster care. The focus is on finding families for these children, not the other way around. If you aren't matched in 3 years time, it is probably for the best to look into a private agency or international adoption because what you are looking for probably can't be found in foster adoption. I know it seems harsh, but it really is for the best for everyone because if they continued to let you sit on their list after several years it may just be a waste of your time. Don't get discouraged though! There are a lot of babies in foster care! You do have a much better chance of adopting an infant though, if you are willing to foster first. Because there is a time period, (that varies case to case) that reunification is the goal, if you wait until the child is adoptable they will, generally be older than a newborn by this time, and more often than not (from what I understand) the foster family who has already been caring for them will want to adopt the child. I hope you continue on, there are a lot of children out there who need a loving family. Good luck to you! :)

As Waterbug said, don't be discouraged! This can (and will) happen for you. My wife and I just finished the adoption process through the county, so I'm hopeful that I can provide some insight that will help. We started the process 4 years ago last month. It took us about 9 months to "get on the list." It was a year before we were matched with our first infant (which wasn't a good fit for us). It was another year before we were matched with our son. Then it was 14 months before finalization. I wonder if our social worker is your social worker. Because ours is retiring at the end of this month. Since we were so close to finalization when she told us she was retiring, we begged her to stay on until we were done, just so we wouldn't get reassigned for a month. (We were lucky, we were her last one that she saw through to completion). We did the profile book for adoption, but only got one hit (that we know of) in the two years that our profile was active. I was about to update our profile book when we got the call. I'd consider updating your profile often (once a year), to make sure it's up to date. We also got creative with our profile. In the pet section, we had a small picture of our cats included with the text. In the section about our house, we had a small picture of our house. We also created one last page that was a "collage" of pictures. We then "screened back" the picture page, and used it as the background of our regular pages. You don't say whether you're doing foster-to-adopt, or straight adoption. I seem to remember that you had to do foster-to-adopt (or, that they *highly* recommended it). That opens up a lot more chances for you. When we started the process, I seem to remember the same restriction - you're active for 3 years, then they close the case. I can't remember if you weren't allowed to reopen your case, though. In court, during the phase where they are determining if he was adoptable, his social worker had to state how many families he matched up with. She mentioned there were 90 families that he matched up with! That may be discouraging, but just try to remember that it takes time to move up the list. Even a friend of mine, who is adopting a 3 year old, had 75 other families that her child was matched with. Do you remember your "baby order form?" That was the final documentation where you answered yes/no to questions like the individual drug exposures, the age range, medically fragile, etc. After nine months, we revisited that with our social worker, and made some changes to it. And I'll be honest with you - had we not made those changes, we would not have been matched with either infant that we were matched with. Take a good, hard look at what you want to be matched with. Because the more open you are, the higher chance of being matched. One thing we had not indicated originally, was a willingness to be matched with a baby with an "unknown mother," e.g., a "Safe Surrender" baby. After I heard a news story about a local one, I asked our social worker to change that on our form. About 5 months later, we got our first match. Our son is a Safe Surrender, as well. (A Safe Surrender is a legally abandoned infant). (He came to us at 6 days old) Also consider your age range. We asked for an infant, and we were lucky. Even though we had our range as 0-2, our social worker knew we'd prefer to have an infant. Consider whether you'd be willing to go for a child that may be a little older than a newborn. Even up to a year old. The bottom line is that "everyone wants a newborn." We were told at orientation that only 1 in 5 kids in the system are 0-2, so we shouldn't get our hopes up. I turned to my wife and said, "that's a 20% chance! I like those odds!" Because so many want infants, and there are so may kids in the system that aren't infants, social workers are trying to manage expectations, and trying to get good families for the kids that are older. Take what they say with a little grain of salt because of that. They're trying to manage your feelings and trying not to get your hopes up, with all the other stuff they see every day. If you can, try to get in with one of the "awaiting placement" support groups. Those groups are great, and it can help you talk these things out. And feel free to ask questions here, too. I'm very willing to help answer anything I can. (I'm hoping to start volunteering with the county soon to talk about the process with families that are in your situation).

I think Alpine's post is spot on. I'd like to add that... Basically, they are trying to discourage potential adoptive parents from looking at them as an "adoption agency." The county isn't an adoption agency. I believe that, at least in SD county, they were beginning to get a lot of applicants that were under the impression that they were there to serve people looking to adopt. Actually, they are there to serve the children of families who've had disruptions. Their main and primary goal is reunification for these families. Honestly, our social worker told us that more placements were made even as recent as a few years ago. But picky applicants will always wait longest, and are often not chosen first because of their narrow criteria. It really isn't like a Catholic Charities or other private agency. I can see where they are now becoming a little unnerved with the increase in applicants who continue to demonstrate this. I've witnessed this in our educational classes; many, many couples/singles looking to adopt have a very skewed idea of what foster-to-adopt looks like. I know it hurts to hear them be honest, but I do feel they are doing it to save you heartache later. I did not expect our home study to take longer than the foster licensing process. I was really unprepared for the wait, and still am uneasy about it. But, it is what it is. Right now is a good time for you to start attending the adoption classes, they are free through the county. If you take them, and continue to be dismayed, then you should begin to really think about how you are choosing to build your family. I'm not saying walk away from the county foster system, rather, keep your options open as to how you can receive what you want - an infant. There are other ways that are not terribly expensive. Have you thought of an FAA? You would be matched with multiple counties throughout the state. One thing for sure is that with most counties in CA, they will only match you with available children in the county - it's not a statewide match, even though your license is statewide. Also, prepare yourself to become a parent during the waiting time. It's hard. I know. I've known families who offer to do respite to help pass the time. But don't expect the county to move faster simply because you've bought a crib, car seat, stroller, etc. The system is just not designed to work that way. For good reasons. ;) Good luck!

I wanted to say thank you. I talked to my worker some more and hopefully we got some things straighten out before she leaves. I understand they are not a adoption agency. I grew up with several adopted and foster kids in my home from the county so I had a general Idea of how things worked. When we went to orientation that is where alot of information was mis~given. When we first went to orientation we had signed up for catholic Charities and were going to there orientation 2 weeks into class's but the workers who were running the class all told me and my husband that they ran a similar program for infant adoption and we should work with them. So my husband liked the idea of not overwhelming ourselves by taking 2 class's and going through 2 process. After all this happened I did call Catholic charities back but now they have a people waiting out a 1-2 years just to get in orientation because of what has been going on in the county now. I was more angry with being mis lead. I do understand the county is there for reunification and I am happy about that. My husband & I just are unable to have children so naturally I wanted a new born to have those moments I would not be able to give us. Thanks again everyone we are going to continue to work with the county and see what comes our way in the process.

I feel your frustration we are having the same issue or worker left the state just a couple weeks ago and told us nothing of the status before she left and calling to try to see if there is anything we are missing or need to know and we don't get any answers from anyone.

Finally heard something. They re-assigned us to a new worker sense our worker left the state just a couple weeks ago. They assigned us up to a guy in north county and we live out in BFE east county san diego. I asked why we are assigned to someone in north county the lady said because we want a infant we are low priority. Again I just feel upset we were told in orientation and through pride ext and even with out home inspection and study they told us to go out and by everything we would need for a infant if that is what we wanted I just don't get it we were honest with them about what we were looking for why did they wait until we went through everything to tell us no. I know I am new to all this but I would have went with catholic charities instead of doing everything through the county.:mad:

You need to buy everything so when you get a child you will be ready. It is kind of a pain. If we do not get a baby, we have to figure out what to do with the stuff. It is required as part of the Foster license.

@ SofieBI do think that San Diego encourages people to view them as an "adoption agency". When we first started the process, just about everyone told us we would have a child in 6months! Now they say they do not have any kids. This was before they started making Foster Parents to get Home Studies. If you watch Adopt 8 I think that really shows you they want to get people in the system to adopt. If you go to Iadoptu.org or Riversofhopefoundation.org on both site is reads "A Child is Waiting for you" Both these sites are specifically for adoption. Neither site mentions much about Foster care. Just as a FYI, I do not think that we are being picky, on the 22-112 form I think there are less than 5 items that we said no to. Reasonable items.

No, they are clear about not being an agency. They have a need for older child placements. Babies and young toddlers are always in higher demand. They are even removing waiting families from their lists if no match is made in three years. It may be two, I can't remember. How long have you been waiting?

We are officially over a year now we have completed everything back in June. We still have not got anything from the county. I called our new worker many times and no answer. Finally got a hold of him last week only to find out he has done nothing with our stuff. I just don't get it anymore I understand they say they are understaffed and about every other thing they tell us sense we have started has been a lie or just to get you to stay. I have just about had it on top of the emotional journey it is to start this and go through the process only to be told one thing and then be told another thing seems to be a constant no matter what. At this point we just feel lost and confused with no end in site.