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I recently filed to adopt my stepson(3). My husband and I really had no idea where BM was so the lawyer did a people search and found two addresses for her. I guess she got a notification letter. She somehow managed to get our phone # and called once last night. We didn't know the # so the machine picked it up and she left a nasty nice message. We didn't respond. We decided to talk to our lawyer on monday. So today, I had just got home from work when somebody pounds on our door. Turns out BM called our local police and fed them a story that her son lives here and she can't get ahold of us so she is worried about him so can somebody go check on him and give us her number and have us call her.
I explained to the officer that BM hasn't seen SS in over two years and hasn't contacted us in over a year and a half so I'm in the process of adopting SS. I told him that yesterday was the first time we've heard from her and that I didn't need her # because she left it on the machine. I explained that we were going to speak to our lawyer before having contact with her, if we contact her at all. He said he understood and made the comment "so she just played us then huh?" I said yes pretty much and he told me he would make a note to disregard any more contact from her pretaining to the matter. Then he wished me luck and that was it.
I'm just worried that our lawyer will say let her talk to him. Well the problem with that is that he doesn't know her whatsoever. I'm mom to him and have been since before he was a year old. I really hope he just says to leave it alone for now.
She lives four states away so I'm not very worried that she will show up at our door. She wouldn't be able to see him anyhow because in the visitation order she was told that she had to take an OH state approved parenting class and she has yet to do so...two years later.
I'm just worried now that the adoption is going to derail. Our lawyer said even if she contacts us we still have a good chance seeing as how she hasn't called or even sent bday cards or money or anything for him in at least a year and a half-two years.
There are so many factors that are in our favor but I just hate thinking that until our final adoption hearing in two months I will have to withstand her calling 10 times a day and saying nasty things.
Any advice? Thanks in advance :thanks:
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One tiny simple piece of advice, not in any way to suggest this will resolve all your problems. For a few bucks a month, like maybe $5, you can get a specialized ring on your home phone, say, two quick rings, pause, two quick rings. You can give *that* number to friends, family, lawyer, so that a good bit of the time you can answer the phone without any fear that it is her. Took me years to do that after someone suggested (for business at home), and it's beyond wonderful. Very lucky that the police so quickly believed you, that that situation resolved as easily as it did. Good luck going forward.
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