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So I met my Birth mother about 10yrs ago and all was good. Have met and got on well with my two half brothers also. One actually moved into our rental house with his new girlfriend and baby. There was a lot of domestic violence issues from her being the aggressor which made it uncomfortable to be around her too often. Still me and my family welcomed them in and lent them money and drove her everywhere. My brother recently went up to our mums house for Christmas where his girlfriend snooped through my biological mothers emails and found one from me saying how upset I was to see my brother being treated so bad by his girlfriend and how it was so nice to have some alone time with him to finally get to know him more. Well his girlfriend went bananas to my birth mum and put up a nasty comment on Facebook about me and my adoption. I was devastated and called my birth mum to find out what has happend. She said she new nothing. I found out now that she knows the emails were read but is still happy with her and he new granddaughter. There are now constant posts between the two online a out how good Christmas was and how much they miss each other and how she is missing her new granddaughter... Still not a call or message to me about anything. I am left reading everyday my birth others constant messages about her welcoming my brothers girlfriend into her family and how much she loves her granddaughter. It's like she has her baby girl now and doesn't have room for me. My soon to be sister In law lost her mother when she was little so she too is after a mother figure and with her psychotic nature I feel like she has just stolen mine with all her lies. My brothers aren't talking to me now- not sure why but it feels like I am the easiest to leave out and I wasn't really family anyway... Anyone else been through something similar? It really feels like I am going through the hole rejection thing and adoption issues all over again... I can't stop. Dying and just want a call from my mum to say she still loves me...
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Kskye
...his girlfriend snooped through my biological mothers emails and found one from me saying how upset I was to see my brother being treated so bad by his girlfriend and how it was so nice to have some alone time with him to finally get to know him more. ..... my birth mum ... is still happy with her and he new granddaughter. There are now constant posts between the two online a out how good Christmas was and how much they miss each other and how she is missing her new granddaughter... Still not a call or message to me about anything. ... It's like she has her baby girl now and doesn't have room for me. My soon to be sister In law lost her mother when she was little so she too is after a mother figure and with her psychotic nature I feel like she has just stolen mine with all her lies. ... feels like I am going through the hole rejection thing and adoption issues all over again...just want a call from my mum to say she still loves me...
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Kskye, Welcome! Feeling rejected is tough especially when it feels like a second rejection. Sometimes you need to just be the brave one and call your mother and ask her what is up. Tough to do but is it better to just watch from the sidelines feeling bad? Hugs! Positive thoughts for the new year. Kind regards,Dickons
Thanks for your replies... I did apologies to his girlfriend and told her that it was just a daughters vent to her mum.... Still nothing really from her, my mum or my brother... I have also tried asking my mum what is up and she barely manages a nothing response... Have resigned myself to just wait it out and see what happens . Not putting my heart on my sleeve though or trying any harder to make them talk to me... Just To heartbreaking. I am sure they will all see what she is like in time and start talking to me again. I do understand the new baby concept but I have four an our youngest was up there as a baby and there was nothing ... Her baby goes up and the entire house is pulled apart and vacuumed and cleaned from top to bottom new grass laid for her to crawl on etc etc... Guess I will never be a 'true' child of hers... Just a little hard to swallow for a second time when I ha fooled myself all was good.
It sounds like the dynamic is skewed in the family. The girlfriend sounds like an extremely meddlesome character and she is likely manipulating things. It will wear thin...don't worry. You gave your brother and his girlfriend a place to stay and this is how you are treated. Your conversations with your birthmother are none of her business. If your birthmother wakes up and see the facts for what they are; hopefully she will set boundaries with this person. I would be livid. I don't advise bending too much and I would advise protecting your children from being used as pawns to provide this girl with more attention. Set some boundaries. Domestic abuse should have been enough. I would suggest that you call your birthmother and let her know that you are not going to have any further contact with this person but you are open to seeing her and your brothers without this girl.You were extremely gracious to apologize and I commend you for that.