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I just came across this about two hours ago. As the years have gone by, I am able to find more options available on the Internet.
I grew up in a very rough family situation. When I learned about adoption I thought at the time that it was the best for my children. I cannot take birth control and after my first child was born I begged the doctors to tie my tubes. They Refused. I gave birth to 7 children. Have two at home and am now looking for my Second Son. He just turned 18.
(Why didn't you have your tubes tied after the 2nd one?) The law here, at that time, not sure now, is that you had to be 25 to get your tubes tied or it had to be a serious medical condition. I had 5 before I reached 25. I did use protection. The best of what I could use given that I am allergic to the ingrediants in Birth Control.
I do not talk to anyone about this because I get accusations, anger, dirty looks and the one time I felt comfortable talking about I got attacked. So it stays bottled up. I think that I have held it too long because now I cry everyday and have done so for two months now.
I was young when this happened and always trusted and prayed that what the Adoptive Parents were telling me the truth about sending pictures and keeping in contact with me was true. And they all sent pictures and a letter once or twice and then refused to have any contact with me. And this is something I told them at the Very Begining that I did not want to happen. That I wanted to know that they were doing good, wanted pictures etc.
When I contacted them and asked why I was not receiving information I was told that I had no rights and that I had given them away so why would I want information anyways. I was told by each parent to forget them.
I honestly choose adoption to give my children a chance at a life that I could not give them. Not to forget them. These are my children and there is no way I can forget them. This whole thing has taken such a toll on me and my life and I have no idea how to get past it.
Now that I am older and understand the ramifications better, I am angry beyond belief and sadened.
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you are such a strong strong woman. i dont know you but from reading your story i couldn't imagine the emotion you feel.
what you said "I honestly choose adoption to give my children a chance at a life that I could not give them. Not to forget them." is EXACTLY what I want to say to the amom for my son. We are in the same boat but I only have one child I gave up you have a few and for all of them to be that cruel is astounding.
Have you had any luck on finding your son??
Biliegh
I just came across this about two hours ago. As the years have gone by, I am able to find more options available on the Internet.
I grew up in a very rough family situation. When I learned about adoption I thought at the time that it was the best for my children. I cannot take birth control and after my first child was born I begged the doctors to tie my tubes. They Refused. I gave birth to 7 children. Have two at home and am now looking for my Second Son. He just turned 18.
(Why didn't you have your tubes tied after the 2nd one?) The law here, at that time, not sure now, is that you had to be 25 to get your tubes tied or it had to be a serious medical condition. I had 5 before I reached 25. I did use protection. The best of what I could use given that I am allergic to the ingrediants in Birth Control.
I do not talk to anyone about this because I get accusations, anger, dirty looks and the one time I felt comfortable talking about I got attacked. So it stays bottled up. I think that I have held it too long because now I cry everyday and have done so for two months now.
I was young when this happened and always trusted and prayed that what the Adoptive Parents were telling me the truth about sending pictures and keeping in contact with me was true. And they all sent pictures and a letter once or twice and then refused to have any contact with me. And this is something I told them at the Very Begining that I did not want to happen. That I wanted to know that they were doing good, wanted pictures etc.
When I contacted them and asked why I was not receiving information I was told that I had no rights and that I had given them away so why would I want information anyways. I was told by each parent to forget them.
I honestly choose adoption to give my children a chance at a life that I could not give them. Not to forget them. These are my children and there is no way I can forget them. This whole thing has taken such a toll on me and my life and I have no idea how to get past it.
Now that I am older and understand the ramifications better, I am angry beyond belief and sadened.
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Astounding, Yes! What gets me is that after having the child in their life, you know at some point in time they stop and think, how would I feel if I had to give him/her up? And in that instant they have a fleeting moment of the anguish that we go thru and then to be able to just dismiss us is what astounds me. During the adoption process I met a couple of woman that felt very strongly about never being contacted after they had their child. But to know from the very start that we need this contact and then to just abandon us is the most cruelest thing ever. I truly do not understand it.No, no luck yet.... I have been going thru the internet for years now and this is the year that I have found forums.... My hope now is to be able to get help in how to go about putting my information out there and what can be done on my part in the search....I pray for you that your amom is able to put herself in your shoes and understand what it is that you go thru. I cannot wait for the day when a woman holds all rights over her body with no limitations on her medical treatment, if I had had rights about my treatment at the start then it would not have been so bad for me, and who knows how many other woman out there had a second or more child after telling the docotor to tye the tubes. and the day when they make it mandatory for the mothers to have counseling during and after the adoption process. They also need to force aparents to spend counsling time with mothers who have all ready gone thru this so that these aparents fully understand the impact of the lies they tell the mothers!
