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My husband and I are in the final stages of adoption of the sibling group (4) of toddlers we've fostered for the past year. I am wondering if anyone else has adopted a sibling group of this many YOUNG children? I am struggling with finding the time to bond with each of them individually. We have bonded some but I feel like there could be more. I haven't had that time at home with them individually that new moms usually get through maternity leave (& taking care of 4 toddlers I've used most all of my sick time and can't afford to take it without pay now). My husband has been able to spend much more quality time with them because his work schedule allows it and I find the kids wanting him more than me. It hurts. Babies are supposed to want their mommies! I think a lot of it also has to do with the fact that they never had a father figure and their bio mother was the source of a lot of abuse and neglect. What can I do to foster that mother-child connection that I long for and know they need?!?!?
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That's exactly what I do now. I always take one of them with me to the store & even let them stay home with me one at a time while the others still go to daycare anytime that I happen to be off work during the week. I guess what bothers me the most is that they cry for "daddy" when their hurt, sick, or at night when I try to tuck them in. All the times that i feel like normally a child would want their mommy. I LOVE that their boning so well with him and that he is so great with them but I guess I'm jealous of their relationships and want that too.
Another idea for spending individual time: Can they help with chores? My 3 year old enjoys helping me with some house work, especially laundry. He loves to throw laundry into the machine and push the button to start it. Even just short activities together can be great for bonding. My son feels proud of himself for helping and there are a lot of smiles shared. This way bonding happens during the course of every day activities and doesn't have to be separate time carved out of the day. About the kids bonding quicker with your husband, I'm sorry. That must be tough. Our son bonded quicker with me at first. You probably already know this, but try not to take it personally. Keep loving on them and they'll come around. Within a month, our son was showing great signs of bonding with his dad. I can't imagine how busy you must be with 4! Congratulations!!! :D