Opinions on sharing a room
We are moving to a large enough house for all children to have their own rooms..each room is HUGE too. Right now, all my children are sharing with a sibling, in small rooms where bunk beds and trundle beds are the only option due to space. In addition, they keep their personal belongings in their rooms. Pretty cramped right now!

So now we are moving, and I am trying to decide whether they should all get their own rooms, or we should have them share and have a computer room and a play room instead. This means their toys and games will go in a central room instead of in their rooms right now. In addition, computers will go in a central room, instead of in their bedrooms. (FYI: computers have strict parental controls and passwords so I can monitor without the PC being in a central room)

Another thing to think about, is these rooms are much larger! Seems silly to me to have them all have a huge room to themselves! (We have a close knit, collective kind of lifestyle)

I don't want to ask my children for their opinion until I have an idea about what I want to do, so I can explain to them how it will work.

Opinions?? Ideas?? WWYD?
It depends
It all depends on the siblings sharing a room. Are they close and get along? My girls have their own room, but they sleep together. If one is upstairs, the other will go up and sleep with her. If one is downstairs, the other will go downstairs and sleep with her. It was the same thing for my older 2 girls. They liked having their own room, but couldn't sleep apart at night. It might be different for boys. I personally like the idea of a seperate office and play room because it's easier to ground than if it's in their room. You can't exactly ground them to their room if they have "fun" stuff in their room.

JMO
My kids share a room. I have given them the option, numerous times, to each have their own room. They will say they want a separate room, but them immediately change their minds because they like being in the same room at night.

So now, with a 3 bedroom house with a den, I have a sewing room and we all share the office.

Works great for us.

Also, growing up I always shared my room with at least one other sister. It taught us how to share and also respect the property of someone else.
Withay said...
My kids share a room. I have given them the option, numerous times, to each have their own room. They will say they want a separate room, but them immediately change their minds because they like being in the same room at night.



Same here! My boys started out in separate rooms, then decided to share - we made the other bedroom into a play room (though my youngest still uses that closet).

So after a couple of years, my oldest decides he's ready for his own room and "moves out". That night, he asked my youngest if he'd like to "spend the night" in his new room. Needless to say, they never spent a single night apart.

My oldest has sleep issues and anxiety, and finds comfort having someone in his room. As far as their own space, they are extremely respectful of each others' property so that's not an issue and if they need some alone time, one can hang in the bedroom while the other can play in the playroom.

It also keeps things very organized - beds and dressers only in the bedroom (stays totally clean) while toys and games go in the playroom.
lovemy2boys said...


It also keeps things very organized - beds and dressers only in the bedroom (stays totally clean) while toys and games go in the playroom.



This is my thought exactly! And my kids have never *not* shared a room so I dont think they know what that means, and I could totally see them all sleeping in the same room anyway! They all love each other, but they do have typical sibling fights.

I guess, though, that I could always start out with them all having their own room and change it later...

I think I am definately leaning toward them sharing and doing the computer/homework room and the play room. We are so excited to move!!!
I think the benefits of sharing are quite numerous - social, emotional, lifestyle, getting along, being closer, organization, quite areas, time-out areas, on and on. That said there are probably three reasons you'll meet people who say they longed to have their own room as a child. 1. Their family was poor and they couldn't have their own room or anything else much of their own and they always felt that as a pinch (i.e. if it is choice for the family this usually isn't such an issue), 2. major sibling personality clash and conflicts, and 3. particular kid with a temperament that need a lot of solitude, thinking time and space. So, I'd watch out for those issues and, if you don't think they are big issue, I would do sharing. I would do sharing with kids under say 7 or 8 regardless and older than 12 I MIGHT be inclined to let them choose even over my "better" judgement.
I am a fan of room sharing and having a play room, for the previously mentioned reasons.
My cousins have twin sons (fraternal) who went off to college last September. The boys were Biological, not adopted, but one twin was born with a heart problem and had to be in the hospital for quite a while as a newborn. They're both fine now -- taller than their parents, healthy, bright, and delightful human beings.

The family is affluent, and their home has plenty of bedrooms. Still, the boys always wanted to sleep in the same room. Interestingly, one was very social and one was more quiet, but they weren't bothered by each other's phone calls, texting, and Facebook chats at all hours. One year, they decided that they were going to have their own rooms -- but when it was actually time for the move, it didn't happen.

Interestingly, the boys have gone off to two different, but excellent colleges, in different parts of the U.S. I can't wait to hear how the past year has gone, for these two amazingly close brothers.

Sharon
My suggestion would depend on age. We have done every possible configuration with our 4 boys over the years, and currently the 14 and 11 year old share, the 16 and 17 year olds have their own and in the coming months, the 17 year old is moving for school, the 16 year old is moving into his room and the 11 year old is moving into the 16 year olds room. Smile

While they were younger, the benefits far outweighed the negatives of sharing. As teenagers, having their own rooms and space has solved many, many problems. Smile
You should have manage separate room for your each child because they need some privacy as they are grown up.

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If it has worked well so far, I don't see the need to make big changes....
My girls have their own room, but they sleep together. If one is upstairs, the other will go up and sleep with her. If one is downstairs, the other will go downstairs and sleep with her. It was the same thing for my older 2 girls.
I would let each child have his/her own room, but recognize that some or all will wind up in one room, at times, for play or sleep. Ideally, let each child have a trundle or futon or daybed in his/her room -- I don't like bunk beds -- so that a sibling can move in for a while, or a friend can have a sleepover. You'll appreciate the kids having separate rooms when it comes to homework, and separate rooms will mean fewer fights over possessions, decorations, and so on.

If your new home has a lower level that is finished, or something of that sort, turn it into a family playroom. Have a ping pong table, a game table, a big screen TV, a sound system, or whatever you choose, and make it the kind of place where both adults and kids can have fun. If it's big enough, and the money is sufficient, create a small kitchenette/wet bar. There can be a place where the adults can store liquor and barware under lock and key, as well as a fridge or or mini-fridge and a microwave for kid snacks. If there's room, create an adult's study next to the playroom. When the kids are young, you'll be able to pay your bills, etc., while listening for sounds of argument. When they are teens, you can casually find a need to get something from your study, to be sure there's not "too much privacy" at a party, every so often. And so on.

Sharon
We've purposely kept our kids sharing rooms, even though we have the space for them not too. There are several reasons for us. In my opinion, it reduces the sense of entitlement and forces them to learn how to cooperate. They seem to get along better and be closer. They're learning how to be respectful of each others things and space. It also makes some of them feel safer and more secure.

There are some downsides, but it's more on my side. Because my kids have really widespread ages, it's harder to enforce some things. For example, I"m still waking up my 12 year old, rather than using the alarm, as he shares a room with his 6 year old brother. I'm also still doing his laundry, because it all ends up in the same pile.

Eventually I'll be changing the dynamics. My plan is eventually to move the 12 year old into the basement bedroom, and the littlest boy out of his sister's bedroom and in with the 6 year old boy. However, it's my oldest that really feels safe sharing a room so I suspect I'll have a "boys" room with all three boys, and only my daughter will have her own room.

We have small bedrooms, so there are very few toys in the bedrooms.
My kids sleep better when they share rooms. They get scared when they are alone. Having a playroom is nice too, be ause all of the kids play together without going I to other kiddos' bedrooms.
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